


Terminal Trivialities

by DreamingDragon, Mind Of The Dragon (DreamingDragon)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Atlantis (Stargate Atlantis), Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 42,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingDragon/pseuds/DreamingDragon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingDragon/pseuds/Mind%20Of%20The%20Dragon
Summary: John Sheppard awakes in agony with only Rodney McKay to help him. With no memory of what happened, John fights to win a battle of which he has no knowledge. What things await them in the forest? Where are the rest of his team? Let's find out...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> So I'm back into SGA and rewatching it for the... let's just say, millionth time... I've fallen in love all over again :D I will be writing and updating this story between working on the fourth and final book of my Malevolence series. Therefore, updates may take a while. As always, cookies feed the storytelling Dragon. And by cookies, I mean, leave me a review! :P Mega thanks to my editor and best friend, Joelle. I love you!

Chapter 1

 

"John?"

The sound of his name filtered through the agonizing haze that kept him locked in his own dark and suffocating world. The word was drawn out and echoed through his pained-addled mind like a slowed down record played loudly in a concert hall.

"John?!"

Awareness slowly seeped through his mind and John Sheppard knew he was in a whole heap of trouble as every nerve in his body fired as one.

"This 'me saving you then you saving me' thing is out of synch. It's your turn to save me!"

John moaned and let Rodney know he was there, listening, even if he couldn't say more.

"Oh, thank God," Rodney whispered and John could hear the relief in his voice. "Can you move? Talk?"

John moaned again as an intense wave of agony flashed through his body.

"I'll take that as a no," Rodney replied, his words followed by the noise of shifting clothes and boots on hard ground.

Rodney hauled him by the tack vest across rough terrain with a grunt of exertion. "I hope to God you find your senses soon as we are in a crap-ton of trouble, Sheppard."

John tried to reply, tried to move his hands or do anything to help Rodney in his task, but to no avail. His body was as limp as a tea-dipped biscuit and his mind just couldn't cope with much more than listening to Rodney ramble.

"Ambush! An ambush of all things! Here?! I've no idea where the others are, or even where  _we_  are. If it wasn't for them, I'd have been hit with that same… the thing you were. And where would we be now, huh? The Jumper is gone, and I have no idea how we will get back home..."

John wished he could join in the conversation but he really couldn't understand what Rodney was talking about. The weapon that struck him had blocked his memories from the moment they set foot on the planet. It was hard enough just trying to figure out what planet they were on and why, though he thought it might have been a standard trade mission to one of their allies. Which was strange, considering the state was in currently. He heard a small cry just before his head hit the ground. Rodney groaned to his side and John heard the sound of hands smoothing fabric.

"Oh, that hurt. That really hurt. Stupid bloody tree!"

If John could have laughed, he might have.

"Oh, come on. I'm bleeding now, do you see this?!"

John couldn't see anything. Nor could he answer the question even if it was obviously rhetorical. Again, Rodney sighed, resigned, and began hauling him along. John could feel every rock and uneven bump, each knock sending another wave of pain through him. He had to wonder what the hell he'd been hit with. He'd suffered the effects of many a weapon, on Earth and in space, but nothing that hurt like this. And why couldn't he see? He was sure his eyes were open. He blinked over and over but it didn't shift the darkness from them.

He was thrown roughly against a solid object and slipped down as Rodney huffed and apparently sat beside him.

"Come on, John. Wake up. You're starting to frighten me. Not that I am frightened, no, no, terror-stricken is more like it. If you—"

John heard Rodney move, could hear his breathing louden as he got closer. Then a hand touched his chest and John could not stop the loud groan that pushed through his clenched jaw.

"Oh crap, I didn't… I should have… I…"

Blinding pain erupted in John's chest as if Rodney had grabbed hold of his ribs and pulled them from his body. Wave upon wave of fresh agony swept through him until tears flowed from his eyes and he felt his teeth grind so hard he thought they might shatter.

Then the pain stopped at once.

John tried to open his eyes, and this time, when he did, he saw Rodney McKay kneeling beside him, a look of horror on his face. In his hands, he held two strange black objects which squirmed grotesquely. Rodney threw them to the side with revulsion and looked to John. His eyelids fluttered as if he hadn't expected to find him awake, before he smiled his usual lop-sided smile and said, "That's now two you owe me."

His body trembling violently, John pushed himself upright with difficulties, gasping and choking down the air in huge gulps. "What the hell were those things?!" he spluttered.

"I've no idea. I thought it was some kind of energy blast that hit you, but they were stuck in your chest! I'm sorry I didn't notice them sooner!"

"I'm just glad you finally did," John said, taking a deep breath while patting at his chest.

His fingers felt the ragged holes in his tack vest. John looked to find the holes went right through, to the skin. John pulled off his vest, raised his shirt and was shocked to find the skin scratched and cut with two circular wounds where the black things had bored through. He wondered what kind of missile could go through Kevlar so easily and so thoroughly. John leaned forward and looked at the things Rodney had so violently thrown. They would be rather innocuous if they didn't move of their own volition. Two barrel-shaped creatures, with what looked like four small appendages, wriggled around in the grass as if trying to escape. Any other scientist might have taken a closer look. Might even have boxed one up to take back to Atlantis to study. Yet, Rodney pulled out his gun and bludgeoned them to death with the butt of the weapon. He looked utterly disgusted as he did.

"Don't want one of them crawling up the inside of my trouser leg," he muttered.

"You really don't," John replied. "Where are Teyla and Ronon?"

"No idea. They ran off chasing those who attacked us. Whatever the hell they were. Neither Teyla nor Ronon are replying to hails and I stopped trying in case they were hiding."

"Well, I suggest we get off our butts and go find them."

"Can you?" Rodney asked with a hint of humor. "Get off your butt, I mean?"

John eyed Rodney wearily. He pulled on his vest, checked his gun, and got unsteadily to his feet. "Let's go."

As they both made their way deeper into the vegetation and treeline, John fought to remember exactly where they were. Whatever the little black things had done to him, whether they messed with his head or closed his mind down while they were attached to him, he didn't know. Thing was, he couldn't remember a damned thing since stepping off the Jumper. He had no idea who it was that attacked them, nor what it was he was searching for. Relying on Rodney was all he could do, and this annoyed him greatly.

"Come on, flyboy, keep up!" Rodney said from up ahead.

John inwardly groaned and sped up as best he could, watching the back of McKay's head with narrowed eyes while being glad he had him as a friend.

_Cookies... I'll update as soon as I can!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's condition is worsening, and Rodney uncovers why.

Chapter 2

 

John's laboured breathing made Rodney search for a place to stop and rest. It didn't take long to find the perfect spot. A felled tree and its branches formed a protective hollow in which they could sit for a while, hidden from view.

"Where are we?" John asked once his breathing calmed.

"Not sure. Somewhere south of the village, I think."

"No, what  _planet_ are we on?"

Rodney stared at him in disbelief, his breath catching in surprise. "What  _planet?!_  Caronaa, of course! Where the hell did you think we were?!"

John rubbed at his temples and sighed. "I don't remember anything, Rodney. I've no idea where we are."

"Oh, so you've conveniently forgotten the reason why we're here, huh? And I guess you don't remember how we've ended up without a Jumper?"

"I  _just said_  I don't  _remember_  anything."

Rodney stared at him for a long moment before he rolled his eyes, huffed with exasperation then leaned back on the tree trunk. "Oh, that's just great. And here I thought things were looking up when you opened your eyes."

"I'm sorry I just got blasted with  _living ammunition that scrambled my brain_!" John growled and wearily glared at him.

Rodney cursed himself for his lack of empathy and did well to keep his mouth shut under John's frosty glare. It wasn't that he didn't care, of course he did. But he was frightened, and when he was frightened, he became more snarky than usual and wound himself up in his own feelings of inadequacy.

"Sorry," he said eventually and watched as John laid himself flat on the ground and took a long, deep breath.

Rodney worried over the man's condition. The usually fit and energetic Sheppard was weaker than Rodney had ever seen him— which was saying something. He'd seen John come through a battle with the White Death, watched him heal after the Jumper crash a few years ago. He'd even survived a bout of often-fatal Bontu fever with hardly a grumble. Through most things, John remained strong-willed and positive.

But this time was different.

When he woke, he was disorientated. When he stood, he shook all over. When he spoke, he did so quietly as if the uttered words tore at his vocal cords. As they ran, he made all sorts of pained noises and his ineffectual breathing slowed them down. And, whatever was wrong with him, it was rapidly worsening. More often than not John was spaced out, confused and yet completely uninterested in his own feeble condition. Looking at him now, sprawled out on the grass as if sleeping, Rodney saw a weakness in John he'd never witnessed before.

Perhaps the reason for this feebleness was that he'd had no time to rest since awakening. Maybe the creatures he'd removed from John's chest had drained him of… what? Energy? Vitality? Maybe they'd poisoned him, and Rodney shuddered as he remembered the time they'd almost lost John on a planet with a broken Jumper and poison in his veins. Even then John had fought valiantly through it.

As Rodney watched John rest and listened to his shallow breathing, he realised why it seemed so different this time. He saw that the very thing which drove the man before him to survive was alarmingly lacking in this scenario.

There was no fight in John Sheppard. No will to carry on.

Rodney's stomach clenched and his mouth dried. When he thought on it, the only interest John had recently shown for their predicament was over what planet they were on. He never asked how they got there, who attacked them or  _what_  attacked them, not even why they were attacked or why they were here at all. His disinterest in their current situation was a worry in itself. John always liked to be in charge and in the know, yet, he so easily allowed Rodney to take command of their situation. Let him guide the way, allowed him to find a hide and call time to rest. It was so unlike John that Rodney's panic only grew until he nervously bit at his fingers and worried about what to do.

"John?"

The reply was a soft grunt.

"Why haven't you asked me about what happened?"

John's eyes opened slowly. He turned his head to face Rodney and in those green eyes, Rodney saw confusion.

"I thought… didn't you tell me already?"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't."

"Then tell me what happened." Though he spoke words of interest, John closed his eyes and turned away as if whatever Rodney might say didn't matter.

"We came to Caronaa to uphold a promise you so gracefully gave to one of the inhabitants. Kerria? Ring any bells?" When John didn't reply, Rodney continued. "As you know, Caronaa has no gate on the surface of the planet, so we used the one in the upper atmosphere. You flew us down to the surface, and we all mustered in the back and checked our supplies before heading out. You opened the door and from behind the trees and bushes outside jumped these… creatures. There were around thirty of them, I'd say. Not even Teyla or Ronon knew what they were, but it looked as if they were some kind of hunting party? Big, hunched, hairy things, with long claws and sharp teeth and these weird… weapons. As soon as you stepped out of the ship, the creature at the front fired its weapon. It looked like a pulse of energy came from it, blasted you full on. You went down like a scared opossum, all slacked-jawed and limp." Rodney smiled for a second, then frowned as he remembered John's collapse hadn't been funny at all. "A gunfight broke out, and Ronon took down a couple of the creatures. He ran after the others when they bolted and Teyla followed him. Last I saw of them they were heading into the trees. As for the Jumper? I'm not entirely sure what happened to it. One minute it was sitting there and I was going to drag you inside. Next thing it closed up and took off into the sky."

"By itself?"

"Of course,  _that_  got your attention. Yes, it closed up and took off all by itself. I had to drag you to cover and now we're stranded on this blasted planet with its giant, native bugs, and weird, hairy attackers. You don't remember any of this?"

John shook his head. "I remember coming through the gate and that's about it."

With a sigh, John closed his eyes again. He remained listless and disinterested. It was all just so wrong, that Rodney feared John was sicker than he first guessed. He crawled over and unclipped John's tack vest, pulled it to the side and raised his shirt. John made neither a comment nor a movement as he did so, as if unaware Rodney was even beside him, or uncaring of the fact. Where the creatures had burrowed into the flesh, the wounds were raw and seeping. But what alarmed Rodney most was the spreading darkness that moved out from the wounds. Like dark, pulsing veins, raised just beneath the skin, they snaked over John's chest until it looked like a macabre patchwork quilt. Rodney stifled a gasp as the intricate webbing of lines continued to grow and extend down his torso. He then noticed the wounds themselves seemed to pulse in time to the movement in the veins.

Rodney reeled back, unable to tear his eyes from the strangeness. This wasn't poison or an infection, but whatever it was, it spread through John's body rapidly and clearly affected him. Once he'd gained control of his horror, Rodney approached John again. He pulled down his shirt and clipped his vest back in place then pushed at John's shoulder.

"Come on, we have to go."

"Leave me alone, McKay. Can't you see I'm exhausted?"

Rodney wouldn't have it. He shoved John's shoulder and ordered him to get up. Pushed him upright when his shaking arms were unable to support him. Growing hysteria ate at his thoughts as John pushed him away with a feeble groan and cursed him for interrupting his rest.

"Get on your feet, Lieutenant Colonel," Rodney shouted in his best commanding tone.

This seemed to rouse John from his stupor, even if it had been more of a squeaked cry than a shout. Rodney watched as John shook himself then pushed all the way up to a standing position. The movement obviously drained him and he wobbled to the side until Rodney steadied him.

"I've got you," Rodney said and pulled John's arm over his shoulder.

"Didn't doubt it," John replied in a somewhat sad tone.

They left their resting place and moved deeper into the woods, staggering back and forth and tripping over branches and hidden rocks. Rodney just hoped he was going in the right direction to find the village.

 

_To be continued! Feed meh cookies!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We discover what is wrong with John Sheppard...

 

Chapter 3

Primus sensed when its kin died.

Cruelly torn from their host, tossed aside and smashed to pieces. Such a careless disregard for their lives, yet a warning to the ones who remained.

_Keep still. Keep quiet. Stay hidden._

Following these rules allowed Primus to stay connected to this entity without detection or fear of being disposed of as its kin had been. Primus dug into flesh and buried itself then lay somewhat dormant. Very unlike its nature. For a while, it mourned the loss of its kin, for they were the only remaining original family it had.

From a young age, Primus knew its purpose; eat, sleep, and aid in the survival of their species. Known only as Goh, they lived by this lazy natural rhythm and their population exploded in the depths of an ocean of a planet far away. Goh had fierce survival instincts, natural defence mechanisms that were rarely brought into play as they were top of the food chain in their watery world. Small as they were, an army of Goh could consume a behemoth within minutes, or use it as a vessel to reach other parts of the oceans far quicker and much farther than if tried alone.

Then, They had come.

They, with their hulking bodies and snatching claws and cruel nets. The Goh thought of Them as Groten, a slur in their own minds. In the beginning, thousands of Goh were harvested from the depths. At first as a possible food source, but then, on the discovery of their phenomenal defence mechanisms, as ammunition for weapons forged specifically to hold them. The seas were quickly emptied of Goh, harvested for a war they had no part in.

Through intrinsic mass knowledge, Primus knew such was the way of this galaxy.

The fury of Goh only made the Groten happier. It made Their weapons fire true and with an intelligent fury no normal projectile could ever possess. Now, most Goh lived in huge, murky tanks in the lands of those who captured them. But there were too many Goh, living in too close proximity. Cannibalism reigned as long as cramped conditions remained, killing each other to survive long enough to get out of their hell.

Primus had killed many in its need to survive.

With the lack of space and freedom, a new prime directive became entrenched within the captive Goh consciousness; reproduce at all costs, in any way possible, when freedom was won. This drove the Goh to adopt a rather ingenious way to further reproduce and have their species escape captivity. Any of their captors who were stupid enough to handle them without protection became walking incubators for their young. When Goh were fired as living missiles, the target became the host. In this way, Goh maintained a tenuous chance of survival through their offspring.

The Goh's natural instinct to burrow into and gain control of their enemies meant they could bring down an army within a short battle. They could produce a massive electrical discharge from inside their bodies, the voltage of which was enough to kill even the largest of creatures. But many captured Goh could not kill with this defence, too drained and stressed by the removal from their natural home.

When the electrical discharge was not an option, Goh used their strong circular mouths lined with tiny sharp teeth to gouge their way inside their enemy. Their limbs were useful only in liquid and played no part in the burrowing process. The flesh they consumed was quickly transformed into energy to keep them alive so they just kept on moving until they reached a place of sufficient nature which could maintain them. Which, within a living host, was ultimately in their blood or blood-rich tissue. Then their need to pass on their genetic code came into play and this meant many a fallen Groten became a nest for young Goh, who were nourished by the highly nutrient blood. Mostly these young were destined to die desperately as the fluid they thrived in dried to solid graves unless they managed to water first.

The lucky ones and the only ones that might survive were those whose host died near lakes, rivers or seas. When the host expired near water, the young started burrowing. Only unlike their parent, they moved outward and towards a liquid environment which could sustain them. By this time, Primus's job was complete and it would release all hold of the host's senses and attempt its own escape. All of this meant a rather gruesome and painful death for the unfortunate host. As a result of this adjusted way of reproducing, some Goh survived on many more planets than knew of their existence. Primus could only hope to survive long enough in this being to reach water and join them.

This host was already failing, Primus could sense it. Its kin had delivered their spawn just as Primus had engaged the host's mind. In order to fully integrate into a nonwater environment, the Goh had developed a way to render their host inactive as they took hold. The lead Goh, the Primus, would make contact with the host's mind, closing it down so that others were not dislodged. Primus then suffused the mind with apathy, allowing no panic nor wild notion which could bring harm to the Goh. The host would shut down, becoming almost a flesh automaton for the Goh and their offspring. Depending on how many Goh made it through development, the host may well live a week or two without even knowing it was injured or filled with multiple lives.

This host, though, didn't have that long.

The destruction of the others meant their mechanism was cut short in the midst of burrowing. They barely had time to take hold never mind birth. In their panic to become part of the host, they bit and consumed through to bone but failed to reach the blood, unleashing wild electric shocks in their panic. The host suffered horrendously, and that was, in part, the fault of Primus.

The moment it left the weapon all its senses were blown away. A creature such as it should never be airborne. Their bodies were not suited to such atmosphere and by the time Primus hit the host, its mind had blanked. When it regained its senses, the others were already forcing their way into the host. The host experienced pain that was meant to be dulled by Primus. Therefore, they were found, detached and destroyed before fully taking root. Which was fully Primus's fault. Despite this, the others birthed. In a deranged hysteria, as they were wrenched from flesh and muscle, they started the process which Primus now monitored.

The host now held more of its kin.

With its recent loss, Primus was determined to see these tiny lives to safety, even if it meant death for itself. Being Primus meant it could never create life. It was destined to be a protector of life alone.

Primus dampened the host's pain. Dulled its senses and soothed it into an oblivious stupor. It made the host unaware of its pain and discomfort. Allowed the host to speak to its kin so that no suspicion would be aroused. The very act of eating to sustain itself would cause the host injury, therefore Primus starved itself so that the young might live while guiding the host towards a sanctuary it could sense through the host's own senses.

But the host-kin was troublesome and was the very thing that killed Primus's original kin.

Already the host-kin had pulled the host further away from Primus's much-needed sanctuary. Time was running out. The damage to the host was too severe and Primus took on the suffering, pulled it all into itself if only to allow the host to go on further and save its kin.

Perhaps one day Primus's kind would leave the water and rise against those who tore them from their home. But for now, survival was the most pressing issue. Primus turned slowly within the pocket it burrowed within the host, careful not to fry any nerves with its electrical defence mechanism. It sensed the young starting to become aware and to think, even as Primus sensed the thoughts of the host drift further away.

Time was running out and there was nothing Primus could do about it.

_To be continued. Cookies, please..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John doesn't care about much until Primus's hold weakens for a few moments...

 

Chapter 4

They were lost. More lost than they'd ever been, and John Sheppard didn't give a damn. Rodney pulled him onward, trying to steer him in one direction while John pushed in another. They made little headway, slamming into trees and tripping over fallen branches as they wrestled for the lead while looking like a pair of drunken, one-legged racers.

John was now fighting for command after giving it up so easy before. He could tell it was annoying Rodney and truth be told, he didn't quite understand why he felt the need to take control back. He hadn't cared where he was going or why, but now he needed to head east. Something told him that was the direction they should go in and Rodney fought him every step of the way.

His chest burned, the wounds a hot mess beneath his shirt and vest. There was a tingling throughout his torso that came and went, tickling his insides maddeningly. Whatever caused the sensation grew steadily worse, almost as if his veins were somehow vibrating wildly beneath the skin. His head was a fuzz-filled cavern with little in it except the need to head east. He couldn't care less about the pain, tingling, or that they hadn't heard from Ronon and Teyla for so long. When he tried to think about what happened, John found himself caring even less.

Occasionally, violent images flashed through his mind, of blood gushing from his chest and running behind his shirt, of searing pain that stopped his breath, of an alien touch on his mind much too familiar for his liking. But, John felt nothing. The memories meant naught to him, so disconnected from his own mind that he disregarded the throbbing from his wounds as soon as he acknowledged it.

He didn't mind when Rodney forced him to sit down in order to tend to his wounds. Didn't care when Rodney cursed aloud and grimaced at the sight of them. John merely shrugged, leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. It seemed there was nothing that could faze him right now. Nothing at all.

"I can't stop the bleeding. I'm pretty sure… sure I can… is that...  _bone_ …?" and John almost laughed when he heard Rodney pass out on the grass beside him. It was so like McKay to see something grisly and close down.

Bone? What did that even mean? It wasn't as if his rib cage was showing, was it?

John suffered an unusual moment of sheer panic, unusual since it was his first real thought in so long as if he'd forgotten how to think. There was an unsettling squirming sensation within his thigh which made his stomach heave and as he leaned over to vomit, a sudden calmness descended over him. The nausea passed and when John sat up again. Rodney's words were gone. Just as the memories from before were gone. The horrors that should have him screaming in abject terror, were lost once more.

He leaned back against the tree, closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. A few moments passed, and he heard Rodney stir from his fainting episode. There was a sniff and strangled cough that sounded as if the man was about to be sick. But Rodney held it together long enough to have another look as John's chest.

"Dear God," he muttered and John heard some shuffling then something cold and wet dabbed at his wounds. "This is worse than before. I can… see bone, John. This isn't good." Another shuffling noise then Rodney's voice. "Teyla, Ronon, come in. This is an emergency. If you can't break cover or… or… or are hiding or something, at least click the com so I know you can hear me!"

There was a short silence followed by three clicking noises. Then came the sound of a soft yet urgent female voice.

"Rodney, this is Teyla. I got separated from Ronon. I am trying to make my way back to you. What is happening?"

"Teyla!" Rodney cried, relieved to hear her voice. "Thank God! John's in a really bad way. He wasn't blasted with energy, they hit him with these black things and they stuck to him and… and they were  _alive_ , Teyla. I removed them and John's now acting weird—"

"Speak for yourself," John slurred.

"—and I don't know why. I can't get him to do anything. It's like he's given up! And his chest?! It's  _covered in_ —"

"Calm down, Rodney," Teyla interrupted, thankfully halting the hysterical monologue. "Tell me where you are?" she asked.

"I'm trying to head north towards the village but Sheppard keeps dragging me east. I've no idea where we are now." Rodney's voice finished in a high-pitched worried whine.

"Okay, stay calm. I'll work my way back to the landing site and try to follow your path."

"Okay," Rodney replied in a soft, childlike voice.

Something about that tone upset John, which started a chain reaction inside his mind.

"I heard Ronon click in," Teyla continued. "We will need to find and help him if he cannot return on his own. Rodney, I will be with you soon," she promised.

In the silence that followed the transmission, John thought about how Rodney had spoken.

McKay was a man not as easily fazed as he was once. A man who once battled through mutism while riding a wheelchair and he  _still_  got his point across while working tirelessly and as vigorously as any able-bodied person. Someone who had battled through and overcome those disabilities to rejoin the team, better and stronger than ever. A man as intelligent and articulate as John himself and a man who was braver than ever for all he had suffered. Rodney had saved John's life countless times without hesitation. So, John idly wondered, what could possibly have driven McKay back into his old ways so thoroughly that he sounded like the Rodney John first met years before?

With that question, John realised his confusion had lifted. Rodney's voice had unwound his strangled consciousness, and John only now understood it had been somehow dampened for some time. He gasped, his eyes snapping open, and he looked at the man beside him.

"You alright?" Rodney asked.

But John couldn't reply as more memories flowed through his mind as well as an awareness of pain, of violation and of something clinging desperately to his mind in a bid to… control him?

No. Placate him

Just as he thought he could think straight, vivid images of black beastly beings worming into his body came to mind. He felt the pain in his chest, excruciating and radiating throughout his entire body. He saw the ambush in quick-time, fast forwarding through his mind until he fell back onto the ground beside the Jumper in agony. Blood spurting from his chest as slime coated oddities ate their way inside him. He remembered lying there, wishing to scream, trying to cry, begging silently for relief as a violent shock froze his body and mind and—

—an eerie calm fell on him, soothed his frazzled nerves and hushed his frantically firing neurons. John relaxed back onto the tree with a sigh and shrugged.

"I'm fine," he replied softly to Rodney's question. "We just need to head east."

"Why?" Rodney asked. "What the hell is so important about that direction?"

"Water…"

"Oh? And what? You want to go for a swim, is that it? Sorry to point this out, but with holes like those you'll sink!"

"No, Rodney, I want to survive."

"And the water can, what? Patch up those wounds of yours?"

"It can cleanse the wounds, Rodney. And I can drink it and take my damned thirst away."

Rodney looked abashed and away from John. "Why didn't I think of that?" he muttered then activated his com. "Teyla, change of plans. We're heading east. To Lake Parnak."

"Okay, I will meet you there soon," she responded.

Three clicks sounded immediately after.

"At least Ronon knows where we're going. Hopefully, he can join us at the river, too," Rodney said as he pulled John to his feet. "Does this mean you will stop pulling me in all over the place?"

John just nodded; eyes already locked in the direction of Lake Parnak. They were close to it, so close he could almost taste the freedom. Such a notion didn't confuse him as everything told him it was freedom that awaited him at the river. Freedom for him and his… kin.

They trudged onwards towards the river, Rodney continually asking him if he was okay like some damned parrot from Earth.

_Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?_

John could almost hear a squawk between the words. He smiled, imagining Rodney's head on a parrot's body, chomping on crackers and spitting them out as he screeched, "Want a cracker?!"

_Want a cracker? Want a cracker? Want a cracker? Want a…_

"… rest?" Rodney asked after an indeterminate measure of time.

John shook his head but his body ached to lay down for just a moment. His chest was no longer the only thing burning. It felt as if his blood was super-heated, flowing around his body faster than ever. His heart wasn't beating any faster, in fact, it felt a lot slower than normal, so how could his blood move any faster? His face flushed and forehead drenched with sweat. The heat within radiated out and even Rodney commented on it, mentioning things like infection and high-temperature, fever and infirmary.

In John's right thigh, something moved.

He felt it again, like there was something beneath the skin, turning and moving slowly within him. John pulled Rodney to a stop and gazed down at his leg curiously. With shaking hands, he unbuttoned his trousers. He heard Rodney yelp and noted him turn away.

"If you needed to go, you should have said! You can't just whip it out in front of another man without warning, for crying out loud!"

But John had no intention of relieving himself. He lowered his trousers to the top of his thighs and saw a circular wound which was sealed with a hardened, green plug. His eyes caught movement to the side of the wound, something beneath the skin was indeed moving around his thigh.

"Rodney?"

"What? Do you need help? Please don't ask me for help!"

"Rodney,  _please!_ "

The panic in his voice brought the scientist to his side and Rodney reluctantly looked down to John's bared leg. The man covered his mouth with his hand, retching behind his fingers until the stomach convulsion passed.

"What… what the hell  _is_  that?!"

"I…"

The thing moved swiftly from his thigh and up into his back. A frisson of energy darted up John's spine, froze his body functions and halted his mind. John Sheppard forgot the weird thing that moved within him and the wound he'd seen moments before. He no longer cared why Rodney looked so ill or shocked. John calmly pulled up his trousers and buttoned them closed as Rodney retched again.

"It's nothing. I think it must have happened when we fell before."

Rodney shook his head violently. "No, no, this is something else, John. You know this is!"

John shrugged. "It's just an injury, from when we fell."

Rodney grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "For God's sake, John,  _wake up!_  What the hell is wrong with you?! Why are you being like this?!"

A violent burst of energy spread through him and created an electrical discharge which made Rodney convulse before throwing him forcibly away. For a moment Rodney McKay was airborne, flying backward until he connected with a tree and fell limp to lie within its roots.

John Sheppard smiled and shrugged.

Then he looked east and started walking.

_To be continued... feed meh cookies!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon tracks the creatures who attacked the team...

__

Chapter 5

Ronon managed to kill a few of the creatures when they first attacked. Ingrained survival instincts kicked in, as well as a burning desire to destroy the things that hunted him. It was a mindset he'd formed while living for years as a runner, and one he was unlikely to break. Therefore, Ronon followed the rest of the creatures when they retreated and dispersed into the surrounding forest. He ran at top speed, chasing them and firing his blaster while knowing that, despite his best efforts, he was losing ground.

Their large size notwithstanding, the creatures were swift-moving with an almost preternatural ability to move their bodies in ways that made them faster and more lethal than anything Ronon had ever encountered. He soon lost them within the trees and was left to track them as best as he could through the forest and all its hidden dangers.

Ronon followed a fresh trail when a huge armoured beast almost took him down. It had six stubby legs and two, very sharp, three-foot-long horns. Ronon pulled himself into a tree seconds before it gored him. He waited in the branches for the enraged animal to cool down and wander off.

When he finally caught up with one of the creatures, he discovered it was injured. Its pelt was riddled with holes from P90 bullets and it was losing vast amounts of black blood. The beast screeched between intermittent pauses and deep, guttural utterances that Ronon took to be words. It was so alien and different that it lacked the ability to communicate in any meaningful way. Ronon's failure to understand its incomprehensible language only enraged the wounded creature. It reared up to its full height, all eleven feet of it, and towered above him threateningly. The fur on its body stood on end, further enlarging its already impressive size. It attacked Ronon viciously, carving deep rents in the flesh of his chest and stomach with its sharp, elongated claws. Three rounds from his blaster soon dispatched the dying creature.

Ronon hissed as he raised his shirt to inspect his wounds. None were life-threatening, but they hurt like hell. He struggled with trembling hands to tape the wounds closed, growling as he pinched the edges together. He allowed himself a few minutes to breathe through the pain then set off again.

He found the next within minutes, wandering aimlessly through the trees. It was less alert than the last and unaware of his approach. Even when he stealthily passed to stand some yards before it, the creature took no notice. Then, with sudden, blinding speed and a bizarre twisting movement, the beast careened towards him with gnashing teeth and slashing claws. The mass of movement and fur continued to throw itself at him, yet Ronon saw no real awareness in its unfocused eyes. He blasted it fully in the face and staggered back from the corpse, drenched in blood and ichor.

He tracked a third creature that went in a different direction than the others. It headed easterly, and Ronon followed it with the hope it might lead him to the rest of its kind. He stopped behind a tree and watched it closely. It was thin, so much so that its skin hung loosely from its bones as if the slabs of muscles beneath had deflated. It shuffled along, slow and weak and wearing the same vacant expression as the second.

In his ear, Ronon heard Rodney activate the com with an emergency call. He didn't reply, afraid that any movement or sound might trigger the same violent response in the creature as the others had displayed. He tried to ignore McKay, but the man was unusually frantic. Ronon clicked the com three times to let him know he could hear him.

The beast stopped moving, raised its head and smelled the air. Ronon froze and held his breath until the creature restarted its haphazard journey once more. He ventured cautiously from behind the tree and followed it for some time.

It stopped and slowly turned to face Ronon, seemed to sense more than see him as it opened its mouth to growl. All that left its throat was a rasping sigh. The creature shook violently and its wasted limbs trembled when it raised them to attack. Ronon saw no threat in the sickly beast and considered ending its misery.

In his ear, Rodney informed him that he and John were heading to Lake Parnak, and Ronon clicked his acknowledgment through the com.

The creature tensed, its claws extending further from its pads and Ronon quickly raised his blaster. The weakness of the beast was misleading and in a frantic mass of speedy, erratic movement, it launched itself towards him. Slashing and biting, the creature gave Ronon the fight of his life. Its attack was relentless even though it wheezed and panted and trembled. Ronon's blaster was knocked from his hand as the creature wrestled him to the ground. He desperately fought to keep the claws and gnashing teeth from contacting with his body.

The weight of the beast pinned him to the ground, making Ronon wonder how heavy a healthy one of these creatures might be. With both hands on the beast's sagging jowls, Ronon stopped it from chewing his head off as its massive teeth snapped shut mere millimeters from his face. He grunted with exertion as it pressed down on him, the enamel of its long incisors rubbing against his skin as it hungrily breathed in his scent. He saw something moving beneath its fur and then Ronon's body was ablaze with pain and he cried out. He shuddered uncontrollably beneath the bulk of the beast. Electricity arced between them rendering him little more than a jittering mound of misery.

The beast hesitated, wheezing and gasping as if it was about to collapse. Then it pulled back, opened its jaws, and went for the kill.

The moment of hesitation allowed Ronon some recovery, giving him the strength to force his trembling body to move. He grabbed the massive head and pushed it away from him. He tried to get a good enough grip to wrench it to the side and maybe snap its neck, but the beast pulled back suddenly, raised one huge paw and slammed it into Ronon's right arm.

He roared with pain as the bones of his forearm shattered beneath the powerful impact. One claw punctured right through his flesh and for a few seconds, they were both anchored to the ground. The beast wrenched its claw free of the earth, swung its arm back round so fast it slammed into the side of Ronon's head. His eyes watered and vision dimmed as stars ignited and exploded in his mind.

The creature reared up to throw another blow and Ronon's feet churned earth and vegetation as he scrambled away. The blow struck the root of a tree and shattered it to pieces. With increasing sluggishness, Ronon raised his uninjured arm and grabbed for the slender knives hidden in his hair. When his fingers folded over one, he threw the knife with such precision that it punctured one of the creature's eyes. It bellowed with pain, paws rising to its face and Ronon took the moment of distraction to attempt escape. But he was disoriented and dazed and could feel himself losing consciousness even though he fought against the growing darkness.

He knew death would be all but inevitable if the beast attacked again, and attack it did.

It bounded towards him, mouth gaping, claws fully extended and long arms reaching for him. Ronon stumbled backward. His foot caught on a rock and as he fell he was sure this was the end.

A crashing sound came from above, as a dark object fell speedily and collided with the beast. Surprised and grateful, Ronon watched as a massive, dark insect wrestled with the braying creature.

The insect was fat and slimy, with a giant pincered mouth that snapped viciously at the creature's neck. The beast yelped as the pinchers grabbed it by the throat and it struggled to free itself. Electricity arced between the combatants, each jolt weaker than the last. The insect was left unharmed and slowly closed its pincers around the beast's windpipe, crushing it.

Ronon winced at the sound of crunching bones and saw the beast's head drop down, its body instantly sagged to the ground, long arms dropping by its sides, the lethal claws withdrawing slightly into the massive paws. The frightening insect scrambled atop it and began to enjoy its meal.

Ronon's lungs heaved in gulps of air as he pulled his broken arm to a less painful position across his stomach. He'd been lucky, and he knew it. Never before had he come up against such a creature. So dynamic and unpredictable, he was sure a healthier specimen would have long bested him. The sight and sounds of the beast being eaten told him he should get up and run, but the blow incurred minutes before made running all but impossible.

Ronon somehow managed to his feet and staggered forward in search of a safer place to collapse. He spied his blaster by a rocky outcropping, picked it up and took three attempts to get it in the holster. Ronon looked at the outcropping and decided it was a good enough shelter to keep him safe for a while.

He dropped to the ground with a thud and a groan and rolled himself under the rock, where he surrendered to the darkness.

_To be continued... Cookies..._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, folks! I am currently on annual leave so updates might take longer than usual! Thank you all for your continued support!

 

Chapter 6

Teyla rushed through thick foliage that tore at her clothes and scratched her legs, yet she wouldn't stop. She ran even though her chest was tight and her muscles ached from exertion. Her teammates were in trouble and she seemed to be the only one currently able to help them. Therefore, her suffering meant little, and she ran on through the discomfort.

She and Ronon had chased the creatures who attacked until they lost sight of each other. When she last saw the Satedan, he was bolting after four of the creatures, guns blazing and fire in his eyes. Teyla herself had already killed two of their attackers, spending no time to look over their bodies, save to determine that they were dead. She spared them little sympathy as she hurried past their fallen forms to hunt down others. Having seen their murderous intent was enough to disperse any feelings she might have had for them otherwise.

When John collapsed she ran at their attackers, outraged and unaware that the chase would go on so long that she would lose track of the team. Teyla thanked the Ancestors that at least Rodney was still with John. Though she had no idea where Ronon was, she knew he was alive by his silent communication of clicking the com.

Her biggest concern was reaching Rodney and John as it seemed the scientist was panicking over the colonel's condition. Rodney often panicked, and usually over trivial matters, but in his voice, she heard more than just his standard overreaction. There had been worry in his tone, and fear. Though Rodney McKay could whine like a pro, it was now rare that he allowed his fear to show, unlike when they first met. He'd learned to control at least that part of his personality, and this allowed him to go on missions no ordinary scientist would dare. It had cost him dearly at times, but Teyla knew Rodney would have it no other way. Even she could see the man had evolved from an angst-ridden mouse to a quiet lion and a fundamental part of their team. If Rodney's fear overwhelmed him, there was a very good reason it did.

Teyla stumbled into the clearing where the Jumper had landed. She saw one of the creatures they had dispatched and walked slowly past it, acknowledging the strange and alien form. She'd seen nothing like them before. They were large entities, though their true size had been hidden by their hunched posture. Laid out in death, it was obvious that the creatures would stand around ten, maybe eleven feet tall. Their arms were longer than their legs. They had an almost artful and athletic build, crafted with thick slabs of muscle which twisted around rather than lay upon their bones. It gave the impression of immense speed and agility and Teyla had watched them move in ways she'd never seen before, twisting and morphing their forms into shapes which better aided their escape. From their large paws grew long lethal claws yet they appeared to favour a strange weapon over their own, natural ones. One such weapon lay by the side of the fallen creature, itself as utterly alien as the being that once held it.

Made from a reddish pitted metal, it had a bulbous canister affixed to the top, from which an array of cables and tubes fed into the main body of the weapon. The canister itself had vents and Teyla could see dark liquid moving within. The muzzle was splattered with black goop, and globules of green dripped from the end of the barrel. It made no sense, considering the blast that had shot from it had been bright and explosive, not a hosing of whatever fluid the canister contained. Teyla thought perhaps it was a chemical that somehow converted to energy as she was sure that was what hit John. But then, hadn't Rodney mentioned living creatures that he'd removed from Sheppard's chest? Black  _things?_  She leaned in to take a closer look at the canister if only to determine what had caused John's injuries.

In one quick and smooth movement, Teyla stepped back and raised her gun when she saw a small black barrel-shaped entity easing its way from the bizarre weapon. It plopped onto the ground with a squishy splatter. It had four small limbs and moved towards the fallen creature in a gait not unlike a baby sea turtle from Earth that Carson had once shown her. It looked ridiculously cute in a strange sort of way as it continued its flapping crawl towards the corpse. Once it touched upon the dead attacker, Teyla reeled back in horror as the little creature's head rippled and opened up to reveal an oversized, round mouth, with needle-like teeth. It bit into the fallen enemy and burrowed its way inside. Every now and again the dead creature shook and trembled as bright arcs of energy flowed through it. More of the black entities came from the weapon's barrel, made their way to the body, and chewed their way inside the cooled corpse.

Teyla ran.

She ran as fast as she could, away from the horror, searching for signs that might take her on the path to her comrades. She saw tracks in the dirt and grass, indicative of a body being hauled, and followed it deep into the vegetation. As she swallowed bile, Teyla concentrated on the path to take her mind from what she'd seen. If this was the same creature which hit John, then she understood why Rodney sounded so terrified. Just remembering what it did to a dead thing was enough to make Teyla speed up and rush towards her friends.

She came to a point where the tracks changed. For a while, there were two sets of footprints, which, after some time, became one. Only one person had forged ahead and there were no signs of the second. Teyla followed the single track for a few minutes, noting that it was walked in a haphazard way, weaving a meandering path through the long grass. She quickly backtracked to find the point where the second set of tracks came to an end, toe to toe with the first. It was as if one of the men had simply disappeared. Teyla looked around the area, searching for any sign of what happened. She caught sight of a crumpled body lying at the base of a big tree some yards away. Her heart hammered in her chest as she hurried forward, scared of what she might find.

Rodney McKay lay like a broken rag doll among the thick roots of the tree. He was breathing, even managed a quiet moan of pain when Teyla shook his shoulder.

"Oh, thank the Ancestors. Rodney?  _Rodney?!_ "

She shook him again when there was little response before his eyes snapped open, and he cringed back from her with surprise. Rodney looked past her, eyes darting around the area in search of something.

"Where is he?" he asked eventually, pushing himself upright.

"I do not know. I followed his tracks but came back to find yours. What happened?"

Rodney frowned and shook his head. "I've absolutely no idea. One minute I was trying to shake some sense into John, the next I was flying through the air." He rubbed at his arms and wrung out his hands then looked at them curiously. "It feels like I've had a shock!"

"We've all been shocked by this," Teyla replied.

"No, a shock, as in an electric shock." He raised his hands which trembled and shook. "I've had electric shocks before, but never one from a human being, and certainly not enough to send me flying."

Teyla thought of the black creature and how electrical energy arced through the dead corpse it bit into. "The things you removed from John, were they were small, and black, and had four little limbs?"

Rodney sneered with disgust. "Yes, and they were cold and slimy."

"And you removed them all from John?"

"I removed two, but..." Something crossed over his features; a combination of shocked remembrance and utter despair. "No, I didn't because I didn't know there was another on him.  _In_ him," he clarified. "There was a moment, and I thought he was going to take a... relieve himself and so I looked away. But John called on me and the way he did made me turn back. There was something under his skin, moving beneath a circular wound like the ones in his chest!"

"So, there were three things attached to him?" Teyla asked with alarm.

"I think so, yes. I've no idea how I missed it. When I removed them, John came around and all his shaking stopped. I thought he was back, that he was okay. But he wasn't. He  _isn't_."

Rodney stared blankly ahead, lost in his own misery. Teyla allowed him a self-pitying moment and instead tried to contact Ronon. She tried several times yet the Satedan didn't even acknowledge her hails.

"Come on," she said and helped Rodney to his feet. "We need to find him. Something tells me this need to go east and get to water has less to do with Colonel Sheppard as it has to do with the thing inside him."

"And once he gets to the water?" Rodney asked fearfully.

"Let's not allow that happen," Teyla replied and pushed Rodney into a run.

_To be continued... cookies! :D_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still on annual leave! And my beta is currently unable to edit. Any mistakes are mine, so please forgive them! Thank you all for your lovely cookie reviews! I might just try and get another chapter uploaded tomorrow!

 

Chapter 7

Primus was starving.

It was too afraid to take in the nutrients it needed for fear it would kill the host too soon. Host demise would doom Primus's kin to suffocating deaths within the lifelines of a corpse. If in desperation they burrowed out of the corpse too soon, they would die anyway without liquid to live in. This was why Primus tirelessly drove the host onwards toward the vast body of water in the east it sensed through the host's sensory system.

But Primus had been careless with its fear. Allowed the host to gain momentary control of its mind and experience every ache and pain it never should have. This spurred the host to do something which revealed Primus's presence. So, it had fed. Slowly at first, then with much urgency as the host-kin tried to break its control. The last of Primus's lineage was held within this host and it would not allow them to perish due to outside interference. As Primus drew in much-needed nutrients, it sped towards the host's central nervous system and triggered its ultimate defense mechanism in the hopes of turning the host-kin away. The massive jolt of energy was enough to repel the host-kin, so Primus stopped feeding and settled into relative dormancy once more.

Primus monitored its kin closely. They were healthy and growing at the rate they should. If Primus didn't tranquilize the host, it would be driven insane by the feeling of the infants flowing through its lifelines. It had happened before in a Groten and the beast had clawed itself to death to be rid of the sensation.

Normally, infant Goh traveled through the fast-moving waters of the birthing valley in the sea of their homeworld. Infant Goh would travel the circular route of the valley, gaining nutrients from the water and also knowledge as they passed the Goh masses. The knowledge became an inherent source of information embedded with all Goh, built upon for millennia. In time the infants sprouted tiny limbs which would one day help them climb from the birthing valley to join the Goh masses and feed as they did. The infants would change colour from grey to black and take on the characteristics of mature Goh within a day.

But when birthed within a host, the young Goh developed differently. They gained their knowledge from Primus and grew much more rapidly than a sea-born infant. They required stronger limbs which developed quickly in order to keep moving against the blood flow, taking no chances that they might flood through the host's brain and kill it. As they developed and grew, their increasing mass posed a problem as lifelines were not meant to hold them. So they used their legs to anchor themselves to the vessel walls while extending them to allow blood flow. By the time their mouths were formed enough to chew their way out of the host, the Primus should already have guided the host to water.

Developing in such a way was dangerous because the very processes that kept them alive, brought rapid death to the host. As they consumed nutrients from the blood and tissues, they took away those same nutrients from the host until it starved or suffocated.

Which was already happening to this host.

The infant Goh had their limbs and Primus sensed their frantic battle to keep lifelines open while attempting to gain the sustenance their growing bodies required. Primus also sensed the failing of the host as its energy depleted. At times the host stopped purely because it was starving, stamina so exhausted it could go no further. This was when Primus fed again and used its own energy to move them forward.

They were both dying.

Primus understood it would never leave this body. Never taste the freedom of the sea nor move in cool water. It was destined to die with the host as it pushed them both to their very limits for the sake of its kin.

At last, Primus sensed the nearness of water. It stopped the host which swayed upon its long legs that trembled and wished only for collapse. A rankness sullied the sweetness of the water. A recent host death, obvious by the particularly pungent smell of Goh slime and decay. The slime that protected their bodies reacted with stale blood to produce the noxious scent that surrounded the corpse. Primus moved its host on towards the corpse, hoping to sense survival of the infant Goh and perhaps another Primus in the vicinity.

All it sensed was death.

The host had fallen too far from the water, the young which managed to escape, dried and died upon the ground. Those still within their host's carcass had perished through exhaustion and starvation. It was a tragedy. Primus sensed the other Primus slipping away. Its knowledge petered through a death haze to join the collective mind and spoke of a river that scented but did not exist. Primus was puzzled, as it had never encountered such a thing. Water was water, and where there was water there was life. But the other Primus insisted it was not the case here. With a final thought, it died within the confines of its host's spine and Primus mourned for it and for itself.

For only death awaited it and its kin.

The other one's final thought told Primus that traps were set for the Goh, but apparently not by Groten. It seemed the other Prime allowed its host some access to its higher brain functions prior to its death, and the beast was just as surprised to see the strange entrapment.

Indecision stalled Primus's thought process, making its drained and dying host quiver, caught between motions that rocked it back and forth. It heard the faint cry the host emitted, sensed a failing in the connection due to Primus's inaction. It sensed the agony of the host, shared its pain and fear. Primus felt sorrow that the survival of its species required such a brutal and deadly tactic. It wouldn't have cared had the host been Groten, but this host was simply a target, not part of their war. Primus's sorrow suffused the host's mind and they both mourned their approaching demise.

It turned the host away from the corpse and dared to share a thought with the alien entity. Tried to impart its own remorse while soothing the host's regret over its impending death with so many things still left to do. Primus understood this particular regret, for it had only  _one_  thing left to do and feared that it would ultimately fail.

Since the water it scented apparently no longer existed, Primus made a drastic decision. It communicated with the young, told them to stop feeding, anchor themselves and become dormant for a time. It was a mechanism that all Goh possessed and triggered in times of famine. It sensed the infants do as it asked and the resulting flush of increased energy permeate the host. It wasn't as much as the entity required, but it might keep it alive a little longer.

Using the host's senses as its own, Primus smelled the air for another hint of water, finding one to the south. It was just a trace, so weak that Primus knew it might be farther away than the host could possibly manage. But it had no other choice and forced the host to walk once more and back into the tree line toward the faint trace of their salvation.

_To be continued... cooookiiiiesssss... :D_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't had time to reply to all your reviews! I've read them all and love seeing what you think! Again, all mistakes are mine! Thank you all for your continued support! :D

 

Chapter 8

Rodney and Teyla followed John's tracks until they reached Lake Parnak, only the great lake wasn't as Rodney remembered. Around it, once mighty, Sequoia-like trees had decayed to become hulking dried mounds of splintered wood amid rotting vegetation. On the banks, the grass had changed from its glorious golden hues to pale and sickly green and the blades had wilted to the ground. Strange mounds of decayed biological matter dotted the area, though what they'd once been was unknowable. There was no sign of life around the lake. No birdsong or local animal calls. Not even the giant insects made an appearance on the barren landscape. But most disturbing of all was Lake Parnak, itself.

Once a home for various water life and support for many of Caronaa's inhabitants, the lake now appeared stagnant. In fact, it looked nothing like a lake at all. The water was black and viscous with a thick, dark crust covering large areas. Atop this lay rotten carcasses; wildfowl, and fish, apparently keen to escape the toxic environment only to die upon the crust and under the bright sun.

"Rodney, look," Teyla pointed to a shuffling form that made its way towards the edge of the lake. The creature was dragging its feet, its long arms trailing behind creating long unbroken tracks in the dirt. It made strange sounds and its once long and sharp claws were splintered and torn. The beast looked utterly emaciated, seriously ill if not dying and it gasped, reaching for the poisoned water, seemingly unaware of the danger.

Despite the fact the creature was one that had attempted to kill them, both Rodney and Teyla instinctively ran forward to stop it from touching the water. As they closed in, they could see its pelt rippling and shuddering.

From behind them came a roar. "Stay back! Get away from it!"

Rodney turned to see Ronon bolt from the treeline, looking fierce and oddly terrified.

"Move away from it!" he shouted and both Rodney and Teyla took several quick steps back from the creature.

Ronon bounded toward them then stopped a few yards away on the other side of the beast. He was covered in cuts and bruises and his right arm hung awkwardly by his side. His shirt and trousers were torn, saturated in blood and an unidentifiable black fluid. He took no notice of their shocked stares and said, "they're still highly violent in this state."

As if to negate his words, the beast slumped to the ground and onto its back. Its head turned to face Rodney and Teyla. Eyes wide open, milky, unseeing, but full of suffering. It grunted softly as the movement beneath its skin increased. Rodney felt queasy at the sight, yet was unable to look away. There came a nauseating sound of something wet and tearing and Rodney gagged when he saw something small and grey force its way through the skin of the beast's neck. Hundreds of little creatures burrowed their way from inside the felled beast, struggling to free themselves with their tiny little legs. The beast died with a weak, strangled cry that shook Rodney to his core.

With the beast dead, the tiny creatures hastened to free themselves of the corpse which moved sickeningly from the increased struggling within. They burst through its neck, its arms, its stomach, and legs. All with mouths that consumed what little of the beast remained as they crawled out and over the emaciated corpse. Black blood oozed from the exit holes and Rodney saw it was the same fluid that Ronon was drenched in. A stench filled the air that made Rodney bury his head in the crook of his arm to cover his mouth and nose. He and the others stepped further back as a sea of the tiny creatures dropped to the ground and crawled towards the dark, oily water. But some were too weak, hardly able to pull themselves free of the skin. These died in their holes, their mouths biting at the air as they expired. Many that headed to the water didn't fare much better. Their little legs were unable to pull them towards the water fast enough and so many dried under the heat of the sun, never reaching their goal.

The ones that did reach the water found that a different version of death awaited them.

The first dipped a leg in and tried to pull back suddenly, but the oily nature of the water stopped it from escaping. Rodney saw it twisting feebly, held firm by the viscous fluid. Where the water touched, its grey skin bubbled and turned a sickening green. Others were now trapped by the water, all suffering the same death throes as the first. Then more joined them, but these tried to save the ones burning in the water only to fry under the sun's glare.

It was over in a matter of a few minutes.

The dead beast was little more than skin and bones. Most of the creatures were drying quickly to husks as the ones trapped by the water slowly submerged with the movement of the oily substance.

When one, final creature, slimy black and much larger than all the others emerged from the corpse, Rodney had seen and knew enough to understand what he'd just witnessed. His stomach heaved violently then he vomited until it was empty and bile burned his throat. He felt Teyla rub at his back as he retched painfully. Heard a loud blaster shot and when he straightened and wiped his mouth dry, Rodney saw the blast hole where the creature had been and Ronon putting his blaster back in its holster.

"Even after all this time, you've still not got the stomach for this sort of thing." Ronon smiled, though there was no chiding in his words. In fact, he looked just as shaken as he and Teyla.

"It's not that," Rodney whispered before another wave of nausea struck him silent.

He knew what these things were and understood what had just happened. He saw the worried glances from the others but found himself unable to speak as the horror of his understanding gave him the knowledge he wished he never had.

The creature had carried the tiny beings here to the water. The creature didn't fight those living within it. And, the creature had the same blank expression John Sheppard had worn the last Rodney saw him.

An awful, choking, wave of revulsion and terror stifled the cry of panic that lodged in Rodney's throat. He stared at the others, wishing them to come to the same conclusion so that he didn't have to voice the words that frightened him so much. He saw the moment Teyla understood, saw her blanch and place a hand to her mouth. Saw her lurch forward as her stomach convulsed and emptied at her feet.

Ronon watched them both carefully. "What just happened?" he asked after a few moments.

Neither Rodney nor Teyla answered him as they looked around the area, now seeing the mounds they spotted before for what they were; other beast corpses. They desperately scanned the area, searching for a similar mound which might also hold the signature black uniform of the Atlantis military.

They saw none.

"You have no idea what this means?" Teya asked.

Ronon shook his head, his expression darkening. "You saying this has something to do with Sheppard?"

Rodney spat sourness from his mouth and finally found his voice. "Those were the same things that hit him. The big one, in the end, that's what hit him when they fired on us. I pulled them from his chest. But I missed one, and now… now he's a walking incubator for them."

Ronon neither blanched nor said a word. If he was concerned, he didn't show it, but Rodney saw his posture stiffen, his good hand wander towards his weapon and his jaw tighten. Ronon looked away, eyes roving over the landscape until he found what he was searching for.

"This way," he growled and took off in a sprint.

The others didn't have to ask where they were going. The master tracker had obviously found the direction John had wandered. They hurried behind Ronon, Rodney huffing and puffing but doing his best to keep up. He said nothing of the pains he still felt following his encounter with the tree, nor the energy that blasted him into it. His injuries would heal, his bruises would fade and his frazzled nerve endings would settle in time. But John Sheppard didn't have the luxury of time and his injuries would only get worse. What they would do when they finally found him, Rodney didn't know. How the hell they would remove the larvae that now surely coursed through his veins wasn't something Rodney wanted to think about, just yet. Without the Jumper, they couldn't take him back to Atlantis for care and any rescue ship sent would likely be too late.

_He's going to die because he made a promise to a girl,_  he thought bitterly then hurried to keep up with the others.

.

_To be continued... your Cookie reviews are awesome :D I'm enjoying them! :D_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter in one day? I must be crazy... ;)

Chapter 9

The Gate had activated almost ten minutes ago. No IDC was received, yet the Stargate's shield ignored their commands and deactivated to allow the Jumper passage. The PuddleJumper that team AR-1 departed in at nine that morning slipped through the event horizon and hovered before the gate. When it failed to ascend into the hanger bay, Woolsey ordered the Gate guards to investigate.

"What do you mean it's empty?" he shouted a few minutes later to the men below in the Embarkation area.

A suited and booted soldier was looking in the Jumper window. "There's no one inside, Sir, that's why it won't ascend."

Woolsey wrung his hands and wondered what the hell was going on. He looked to the command staff, all of whom shrugged and gestured that they were none the wiser. He looked back to the Jumper and focussed on the red light that flashed intermittently in the cockpit interior.

He activated his com with an irritated sigh. "Doctor Zelenka to the bridge, immediately."

Five minutes later the little Czech hurried into the gate room with an assortment of cables and his laptop. He looked to Woolsey and then the Jumper and gestured as if to say, "What?"

"The Puddlejumper is empty and won't go to the bay," Woolsey informed him.

The little scientist raised an eyebrow and looked confused for a moment. "Then how did it get here?" he asked.

"Just, please, get it into the bay, would you?"

Zelenka frowned then nodded and left to deal with the ship. Woolsey watched him as he proceeded to open a panel on the side of the Jumper and connect one of the cables before pressing at his laptop. There was a clunking sound and Zelenka removed the cable and told everyone to stand back as the Jumper rose slowly up into the hanger bay.

"Doctor Zelenka, if you would be so kind as to find out what's going on and report back to me, please," Woolsey said and returned to his office.

He sat behind his desk and glanced at the clock, his fingers drumming off the desktop in agitation. It was five-thirty in the evening and the Jumper had returned a day before it was meant to, with no one on board. It took four hours to reach Coronaa through a series of three gates. Double that to account for the return journey. It appeared as if the ship had returned to Atlantis as soon as it landed on Coronaa, and without Colonel Sheppard or his team.

Atlantis had received no communications from the team since they left that morning on a routine follow up visit. Colonel Sheppard had mentioned a promise he had to keep. Woolsey had been about to ask about it when Rodney McKay had interrupted with a rather scathing remark about Sheppard's need to impress girls. Woosley let the subject drop, not wishing to open that particular can of worms.

But this situation concerned him. Never before had a Puddlejumper returned to Atlantis without its team. As far as he was aware, the Stargate shield had not failed them in the past and Woolsey wondered why it would now, especially today.

Two anomalies in one day were no mere coincidence.

He lifted his silver flask to pour some coffee, only to find it empty. Pulled his best exasperated expression even though there was no one to see it. "To the mess hall, then," he sighed, grabbing his mug and closing the flask.

When he arrived in the hall there were a few people dotted around eating meals at tables; the late shift grabbing a bite to eat before continuing their work into the small hours of the morning. He passed a table where the people were talking about the Jumper's return and the missing team. One man laughed about it, saying Sheppard was probably playing a joke. Another worriedly asked his companion if the wraith might have something to do with the strange happening. Woolsey wondered how they even already knew. Was he so far out of the loop, that —had he not been present when it happened— he would be the last to know?

He was always the last to know.

_Not this time,_  he decided.

Woolsey filled his flask, and also his mug, then sipped the fresh coffee as he made his way to the Jumper bay. He hated it there. It just reminded him of the time Atlantis was attacked and General Jack O'Neill and himself were captured in a similar hold. He shuddered as he stepped inside the darkened area.

Zelenka was in the back of the returned Jumper, sitting amidst crystals and cables while staring at his laptop with a look of delight.

"Have you found anything?" Woolsey asked when the man failed to notice him.

Zelenka startled and scrambled to his feet, stammering and stuttering as he held the laptop under Woolsey's nose. "Look at this! It's a return-to-base command code! I've never seen it before! No one has!"

"So, how was it activated if no one knows about it?"

"According to the system files, soon after touchdown, something happened and a command was sent to the Jumper telling it to return to Atlantis."

"That doesn't answer my question, doctor."

Zelenka pushed his glasses back on his nose and huffed. "I do not know why, or how, I only know that it did. I know the mechanics, I can read the code. As to why it was activated?" he shrugged again.

Woosley sighed, drained the coffee from his mug and poured some more from the flask. "So we are no further forward than we were when the thing came through the gate."

"Ah," Zelenka said and raised his hand, pointing a finger upwards, "but we do know more, sir."

He typed into this laptop then presented it to Woolsey who stared at it, bewildered. "And just what is it I'm supposed to be seeing?"

"That," Zelenka pointed to a line of numbers, " is a ship."

"What kind of ship?"

"I don't know. I just know it  _is_  one."

Woolsey rubbed at his temple, clearly exasperated. "Doctor Zelenka, if you could possibly try and make things clearer, we might reach a conclusion sooner."

Zelenka blushed and cleared his throat, pushed his ever-roving glasses back on his nose and said, "That is a ship. A huge, ship. It is also one we've never encountered before. Perhaps the team ran into trouble. Maybe they had a fight with that ship. And maybe Colonel Sheppard sent the Jumper back here so that it wouldn't be taken by the enemy."

Woolsey finally understood. "It's an emergency call. Sheppard sent it back ensuring the ship didn't fall into the wrong hands."

"Yes!" Zelenka cried. "This is remarkable sir, a new discovery of a Jumper subsystem!"

"Yes," Woolsey said quietly. "And a cry for help from one of our teams."

This settled the excited scientist into a somber silence.

"See to it that this ship is ready to fly out as soon as possible. I'll be sending a team after them. I want a full report of your findings on my desk by morning."

Crestfallen, Zelenka nodded and turned back to the mess on the Jumper floor.

"And, doctor Zelenka?" Woolsey said and waited for Zelenka to look wearily back. "Good work."

He left the scientist who grinned and got back to work while reverting to his own language to talk to himself.

Woosley shook his head but smiled and left the jumper bay. He activated his com and said, "Major Lorne, meet me in my office in five minutes." He thought for a moment then added, "And bring your team with you."

_To be continued..._


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go back to John... I hope to catch up with reviews tomorrow! Thank you all! :D :D 

 

Chapter 10

John was slowing down.

He was unbelievably tired and feeble. Unable to get enough air into his lungs meant he breathed in short, sharp gasps which exhausted him further. He felt more hungry than he'd ever felt in his entire life. He ached all over to the point it seemed that even his bones hurt. His feet felt heavy and he tripped and fell so often it only made it so much harder to get back off the ground. When at one point he felt the compulsion to look at his watch, he saw it hung somewhat loosely around his wrist and this alarmed him, but only for a moment. Then the significance of it disappeared from his mind, as well as all the other worrying things he'd just noticed.

He kept going forward. On through the forest with all its natural traps and snares. Life sang out around him, yet John neither acknowledged nor admired it. He caught sight of knelkin, fast-moving deer-like animals with smooth, white fur. The beauty of this rarely seen and elusive creature was lost on him, and he looked away to the darkness of the forest.

He stopped beneath a large tree, quite unable to take another step. He stood there, legs threatening to give way as he swayed back and forth and fought the urge to keep going. Above him came a crashing sound, and if John had all of his senses he would have known that he was under attack. As it was, he didn't move and was soon smashed into the ground with such force that it drove precious air from his starving lungs. Upon him lay one of the myriads of Caronaa's legendary insects. This one looked something like a gargantuan caterpillar, yet was as dissimilar to one as could possibly be. It had short, green fur on top which graduated to reddish-brown beneath. Its body was as long as John was tall. It had what looked like ten to the power of five legs, all of which moved continually to support its great weight. Its head was a bulging, protruding mass of flesh with no discernible features save for the spines upon its crown and two, strange, dish-like antennae. Whatever senses this creature possessed, it had no eyes or ears that John could see, nor a mouth for that matter.

In normal circumstances, John might have yelled for help, or reached for his weapon, maybe even tried to wrestle the thing off his body. But he just lay there, looking up at the monster without even a hint of fear or recognition of the peril he was in.

The bug rose up, the skin of its head split along the bottom and a mouth appeared. Within it was a circle of teeth-like structures that continually flicked inwards and many dark spots from which oozed salivary juices and acid. If any part of him came into contact with those teeth they would slowly and continually pull John inside the mouth to be broken down by the acid and consumed at a rate that would mean he would be alive quite long enough to experience most, if not all of the bug's digestive system horrors. But the mouth closed slowly and the bug poked its head towards his face. Soon its skin smothered him, feeling around his face like a gooey blanket. Its antennae quivered and swept over his hair. Then it pulled itself from his body and moved away. Climbed back up the tree and awaited a more palatable prey to walk beneath its perch.

John lay there panting rapidly, unable to move or wipe the bug's goop from his face. Something deep inside him forced a short, anguished cry from his throat as he experienced mind-shattering terror. John suddenly understood how close to death he'd come. Fully realised how much danger he was in as he lay there unprotected for some other hungry entity to stumble upon. But that wasn't why he gulped down frantic breaths and cried out weak sounds that would no doubt alert other denizens of the forest to his distress.

For the first time in too long, John was aware.

His body shivered as his mind acknowledged the excruciation that clawed at all of his senses. Every part of him was aflame with an agony he didn't understand. All of his muscles were tight and cramping. His stomach clenched and hurt from hunger. A fire burned in his chest as lava flowed through his veins. He felt  _things_  inside of him, moving, continually squirming and twisting throughout his system. And he was weak, weaker than he'd ever been. So much so that John was sure he was dying.

As his mind got somewhat used to the agony, he remembered everything. Remembered landing the Jumper. Opening the door. Seeing the attack coming. Realising they were in trouble. Saw the flash of light traveling at high speed towards him. Felt the impact as it threw him back to the edge of the Jumper's bulkhead door. The storm of electrical energy that burst through him, radiating from the impact wounds. He remembered the unwilled command, triggered by the electric jolt, that sent the Jumper on a return course to Atlantis. Watched it take off and felt hope leaving him as warmth and pain exploded in his chest. Looked down to see the tail-end of struggling black creatures whose teeth he felt gnawing at his flesh. The blood, spluttering and gushing past them as he tried to grasp and pull their blood-slick, wriggling and slimy bodies away. Grunted at the pain in his thigh. Felt the crawling of one missile as it burrowed deep within his flesh. Then the terrible surge of energy that flashed through his body and rendered him immobile just as his eyes saw Rodney Mckay's frightened face loom above. Then his vision and all other senses shut down, only rebooting while Rodney hauled him through the forest.

Now John knew what had happened to him, but the knowledge did little to help his current situation. Nor did it fully explain the extent of unfamiliar and painful movement within his body. He knew at least one of the creatures still resided within him. Knew two had been wrenched oh so painfully from his flesh by Rodney. Yet it felt as if hundreds moved within him. He felt it as tiny ticks and pulses throughout his body, different from the massive movements he'd felt in his last awakened moments.

But there was one he felt only too clearly as it squirmed in his back. It had shot up there earlier when he and Rodney discovered it. No matter whether he could bear to claw it out or not, John would no longer be able to reach it on his own to do so. And here he was, suffering alone and lost in woods he knew better than to enter.

The thing in his back moved again. He felt it pushing against his trapezius as it slipped slowly towards his spine. It felt different from before, a more sluggish movement. Perhaps the creature was dying, too, and this thought brought John some comfort.

_At least I'll take the bastard with me_ , he mused silently.

But it seemed the creature had other ideas as a jolt of energy shot up his spine and before he knew it, John was upright and forging ahead through the forest. This time he felt and was fully aware of everything happening, almost as if the creature had heard his thought and punished him for it. He felt his muscles obeying commands not of his brain's making. Charges fired into them that made them quiver and answer orders that bypassed all of his own. He felt his muscles stretching and tearing with the forced movements, starving for energy that his body could barely provide. His walk was a staggering gait created by the alien understanding of a bipedal form. He rushed through areas John silently begged not to, charged past animals with gaping mouths that lunged at him, grateful they could or would not follow.

Then he broke free of the forest, stumbling into a vast clearing in which the village he knew was built. He stopped, looked around and felt himself smell the air, searching for something. What the creature within him wanted was past the village, on and through the other side of the forest John could just see in the distance. When he saw how much farther he had to go, John knew the creature's machinations were useless. He was done. There was hardly a breath left in him to take another step. He felt the creature bombard his muscles with weakening bursts of energy, but they were unable to heed the commands and so he just stood there, shivering and quivering and moaning softly.

With a soft cry, John stumbled forward and fell to the ground. His chest hitched with its quest for air. His body screamed for much-lacking oxygen as he breathed mere puffs through grains of earth.

Then he heard his name being called. The sound far away at first but drawing quickly nearer. Soon he felt hands upon him, pulling him gently onto his back and saw three sets of eyes full of concern and fear. John slipped into unconsciousness as his friends lifted him from the ground and carried him towards the village.

 

_To be continued... cooookiiieeessss....._


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter. Really enjoying your musing in the reviews :D I have another three chapters written, so I won't forget to post while on leave. But, when will I get the rest completed...?

Chapter 11

Primus had lost all control.

The host simply didn't have enough energy to keep going and so collapsed in a heap of withering flesh and bones that Primus was unable to jolt into motion. Its consciousness had faded and the last thing Primus sensed before the total shutdown was the sensation of the host being lifted and carried.

They were doomed.

Primus existed in a dying world as its kin slowly succumbed to lack of nutrients. It had asked the young to go dormant, but this command came too late to keep the host going until their deliverance. Now its kin were dying and Primus itself was suffering the effects of starvation. If they ate and emerged from the body now they were all destined to die anyway, so Primus did not awaken the infants, sentencing them and itself to death and seeing it as a kindness.

As it lay in the darkness Primus lamented. There would be no survival of any Goh on this planet. The water was poisoned and with nowhere to go for those who still resided within the Groten ship's tanks, this portion of its species was destined to die. So many Goh were in those tanks, thousands, perhaps even the last of them. The war between the Groten and their foes had lasted so long that the Goh population was decimated. All that survived would be those who managed to reach water on the few other planets the Groten had landed.

Primus let its thoughts fade and tried to settle itself for a quiet death. So lost in its own misery it wasn't sure when the host's mind awoke. With no reason to continue, Primus had long stopped monitoring the entity, though remained connected to it. But now that Primus sensed the host's growing alertness, it felt compelled to apologise to this being for all the harm it had caused. It shared its apology, yet to its surprise, Primus did not sense the self-pitying it expected. Instead, it sensed something much more powerful within the host's mind. Though it knew it was dying, the host found strength of will Primus thought impossible to harbour in such a state of decline. It pulled on this strength and through willpower alone, it managed to do something Primus didn't expect.

The host attempted to communicate.

It was a strange sensation as if all Primus's own powers were being reversed so that this being might speak with it. Primus didn't understand why the host would wish to communicate, yet dared to allow the transmission via the synaptic interface it created upon entry of the host body.

The host questioned Primus. What was its nature? What did it want? Why had it hurt it? This host was intelligent, more so than any Groten. Primus found itself curious about this creature that, until now, had merely been a vessel for it and its kin. It took Primus a few moments to plan what it would say, then engaged both their minds.

_We are Goh_.

_I am Primus._

_We wish to survive._

_We did not choose you as a host but were forced to._

_Our existence within you is why you are dying._

_We are sorry._

Primus was surprised to find the host did not react with expected anger. It seemed intrigued by the foreign entity within it. The host bombarded Primus with other questions. What was a Goh? How many of them were there inside it? Why did they come here? Why was it attacked to begin with?

_Goh are peaceful._

_Goh young are many within you._

_We lived in the seas of our planet but were taken from our waters._

_Groten use us as weapons._

_Groten attacked you as they wanted to reach the stars._

_Your ship was the only way._

The host was quiet for a while and Primus felt the link between them weaken. Then the host shuddered violently. Primus sensed a mournful exclamation in its mind and realised it had not shielded the host from its thoughts. They now shared, not a mind, but a complete communicative process from which the small came to understand the mighty, and the mighty finally understood the insignificant life of Goh.

Primus understood the entity was of a species called human. A species, once cut off from its own planet, now traveling the galaxy to gain knowledge and make alliances. In the same way, the host understood the Goh. It saw in Primus's mind the home of the Goh and understood their nature. Saw the Groten invasion and entrapment of the Goh and how they went on to use them.

Primus tired quickly, exhausted and in need of sustenance if it was to continue the conversation with this entity. But to eat was to bring the host pain that Primus had no intention of causing.

The host's mind heard its thoughts and said, " _then, eat."_

Primus was shocked by the invite.

_It will hurt you and end you sooner,_  it replied.

But the host insisted again that it eat so that they might continue to communicate. Primus moved fractionally to the side of the host's spine, found a muscular tissue to bite into and fed. The host's mind quivered, and Primus had no illusions that had it been fully conscious, it would be screaming right now. It ate little, only enough to allow the exchange of information a little longer.

" _Can we be saved?"_  The host asked eventually.

Primus wondered what possible reason would make this dying entity want to try and save the very things that killed it?

" _Fight against the injustice…"_ the host replied. _"I have my will to live… surely you have the same?"_

Primus considered these points and realised this entity, this species, could help Goh. If only there was a way to communicate with the ones outside.

" _There is… the young…"_

Primus wasn't sure what that meant. The young were dormant, and even if they were not, there was nothing they could do to change the situation, only worsen it. Then it suddenly understood what the host implied. Primus shied away from the idea, utterly appalled by what it asked.

" _Only enough to allow me to speak with my kind…"_

It wanted Primus to let some of the infants die to sustain it. Perhaps it was no better than the Groten after all. But then, they were all doomed to die anyway, so why not risk it? Did the benefit of the many outweigh the lives of the few? In this instance, Primus thought it might. For it wasn't just itself and its kin that might be saved should this entity communicate with its own, but the entire Goh race.

" _It's your decision, Primus. We die, or you survive."_

_You would die for us?_

" _I'm dying anyway,"_ the host drawled. _"No reason why you all should, too."_

Primus was astounded. This human had no reason at all to sacrifice itself for them. In fact, it should be throwing itself on fire to destroy them. Yet while its need to save them was inexplicable, Primus did understand. Primus shared the same burning desire to save its kin and would die for them if it meant their survival. This strange creature, of a species never touched or sensed by any Goh in all their history, might be the one host that would deliver  _all_  Goh.

It was a cruel necessity to waken the infants, for Primus could not control their bodies and make them kill themselves. It was forced to explain to the young what was needed, and Primus was shocked to discover the young understood the situation much more completely than itself. After a brief transmission between themselves, almost a third of the young volunteered to disperse within the human's blood and flood it with the nutrients they had stolen. It would not repair the human's body, but it would release the much-needed energy to allow the human to awaken and speak with its kin.

Primus mourned their deaths. For a moment there were a thousand beautiful Goh minds, then so many of them disappeared in an instant. Primus sensed the host's mind speed up, the surge of energy flooding the dying brain and fully awakening it. Sensed the host's systems fluttering to life and sensed the moment it opened its eyes.

Primus hoped their sacrifice would be enough to ensure their survival.

_To be continued... :D_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, John has established communication with Primus, but what good will it do him?! We will see...

 

Chapter 12

John lay deathly ill and motionless on a bed of straw in the centre of a small barn. He looked cadaverous, so much so that Rodney might have believed he was looking at a corpse if he wasn't watching the rise and fall of John's shallow breathing. He willed each breath and worriedly waited for the next as the village leader continued to deny them help.

"He can't be here," Sama repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"We have nowhere else to go," Teyla replied calmly, though Rodney saw the tension in her jawline. "Our ship has gone and the creatures who attacked us are still in the woods."

"It doesn't matter, Fen Emagan. He can't be here."

Ronon shifted on his makeshift seat atop a bale of hay as another villager strapped his broken arm across his chest. "If you don't want him here, then you know what's wrong with him," he growled.

Sama nodded, his eyes widening as he whispered, "trivialities."

Rodney barked a derisory laugh. "Trivialities?" he shouted, moving his hands in a wide-sweeping action over John's unconscious form. "Does any of this look trivial to you, Sama?! I mean, what part of him dying is so trivial?!"

Sama's eyes narrowed as he looked to Rodney, hand tightening on his wooden cane. "The creatures within him, we call them trivialities."

"Oh, okay, that makes sense," Rodney flared. "What do you call the Wraith? Huh?  _Fluffy, cuddle bunnies?!_ "

" _Rodney,_ " Teyla admonished gently and placed her hand on his to impart some comfort.

He wrenched his hand away and shouted, "no, this is wrong, Teyla. This is  _so_  wrong. We came here last year, answered their call for help when that plague swept through the village and into the city. We saved them, but now that we need  _their_  help, they refuse us?!" he spat furiously.

"It's not that we refuse, Fer McKay, it's that we are  _unable_  to help him."

"Oh just  _stop_  with the honorifics if you are going to insult— wait, what?" Rodney's tirade faded and he swallowed painfully as he processed the words.

"We cannot help Fer Sheppard because we do not have the means to do so. Trivialities infected a third of our village and we could not save even one who fell to them."

Rodney filled with dread and looked to John. "Are you saying nothing can be done for him? Like, at all?"

Sama looked away and lowered his head.

"No," Rodney replied, shaking his head violently. "No, he's not dying. Someone here must be able to help him, we just need to find the right someone."

"Trivialities are not native to our planet," Sama said quietly. "The danu brought them here when their ship crashed two moons ago, therefore we know too little about them to help in this instance, Fer McKay."

"Danu?" Teyla inquired.

Sama sighed wearily and scratched at his temple. He stepped back and sat heavily on a hay bale, both hands gripping his walking cane. "The creatures who attacked you, we call them the danu. When their ship crashed we tried to help them. Only they attacked us and many of our people fell under their fire and claws. The danu disappeared into the woods and we came back to the village to bury our dead and tend the injured. But, we watched as the injured were consumed from within, and others wandered away to burst upon the banks of our great lake. Our warriors managed to capture a dying danu and took it to Central City for interrogation."

Rodney winced. He'd seen the machine at Central City and knew how it extracted information from the minds of whatever was strapped to it. He'd been shown an example of this the first time he toured the city, and he'd seen what became of the wraith who was forced to provide him with the demonstration as knowledge was ripped from its mind.

"The danu provided useful information," Sama continued, "and we discovered much about them. They are at war with a neighbouring planet against creatures far greater and superior to them. The danu discovered the trivialities on their moon whilst in search of food. The tiny beast's ability to rapidly consume as well as their electrical properties gave the danu the idea of making them into weapons to conquer the behemoths they fought. This particular ship of danu was apparently on a return run from their planet to take the last of the trivialities to the front lines. We cannot confirm this as we have not dared to enter the fallen ship. Because not even the danu could offer a cure for the trivialities."

"It was you who destroyed the lake," Rodney whispered aghast.

"Yes, in an attempt to destroy the trivialities. We knew some had made it there and flourished. We took no chances, so destroyed the very thing they live in."

"You said attempt," Teyla said, "are you saying it didn't work?"

Sama shook his head. "The wandering wounded simply headed for other waters, and we can not poison all of our water or we ourselves will perish."

Rodney didn't know what to say or where to look. His friend was dying and this time, there wasn't a thing he could do to stop it. Maybe he could have accepted the inevitability had John been shot by normal bullets. Maybe he could understand his dying if he'd been blown up, struck by a Jumper, killed in a Jumper crash or even fed upon by a wraith— all of which John had survived in the past. But to die as he did now, and because of such small, insignificant creatures, just seemed wrong. John Sheppard couldn't die from this. He just couldn't. And yet he  _was_  dying, right before Rodney's eyes, consumed by beings small enough to flow through his veins. He could even see them as he watched John. They were big enough now as to make his blood vessels bulge oddly. And what if they managed to get the trivialities out of him? How could he possibly survive the starvation he'd been subjected to while his tissues and blood were fed upon?

Rodney took a step back, then another, and another and soon he was outside, moving across the clearing with no real destination in mind. He just had to get out of that barn. That they'd even thought to sequester John to such a place was an outrage. This village, this clean and bustling village of wealth and grandeur, and they'd placed John Sheppard in a barn where calves were birthed and oxen slept. There wasn't one thing about this entire situation that was right and it ate at Rodney, made him so angry he could… murder a denu.

This was all their fault. The trivialities were simply products of the denu war, therefore, the beasts that set upon them were the reason for John's impending death. Rodney marched towards the woods, intent on finding a denu and making it pay for all its kind had done. But he faltered just before the treeline, eyes scouring the darkness within and realised there was no way he'd ever be able to take down such a creature. Ronon killed three and had almost lost his life while doing so. It had taken Caronaa warriors, men and women within biomechanical suits, to bring back even a dying one. So, what made Rodney think he could do it? His anger deflated as quickly as it had arisen and Rodney saw his bravado for what it was.

The second stage of grief.

He'd already passed the first stage, denying John was dying. He'd been telling himself this was just another close call that John would pull through and get back to normal. But Sama's words told him otherwise so he'd taken the leap into the next stage with his anger at the situation. Rodney knew that bargaining came next, but he had nothing to bargain with and believed in no God with whom to make a deal. He dropped and sat on the ground, pulling his legs up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He buried his head within the hollow created by his knees and arms and sniffed sadly.  
What was he going to do without John? What would he  _be_  without John?

Sheppard had played a huge part in moulding the man Rodney was today and he just couldn't see himself continuing to function as he did without the man's constant friendship. People might argue and say the team had moulded him and to an extent that was true. But what would keep them together when John died?

Rodney really had no one except the team. And once John died, the chances of them staying together were zero. It would be disbanded and assimilated into other teams and Rodney had no doubt that there wasn't a commander who would have him. Teyla and Ronon would undoubtedly be given command of their own team and this would leave Rodney back in the science labs, doing ordinary stuff with other scientists who didn't really like him. With the exception of his sister, John was the only family Rodney really had, so he would have no one when he returned to Atlantis. It was a depressing thought.

He thought maybe he was being rather selfish sitting there thinking only about himself and his future as John lay dying. He should be by John's side, comforting him since he couldn't help him. But Rodney didn't want to watch his best friend and honorary brother, die. It would kill him to witness John's death. But if this was the final thing he could do for the man who made him who he was, then Rodney decided he should be there when it happened.

He got back to his feet and returned to the barn, never realising he'd sped through the other stages of grief in order to reach this decision. Once inside, the others simply nodded and smiled tightly, as if they had endured the same internal battle and understood only too well what he was going through. Rodney approached and knelt by John's improvised bed of hay, imagining the man's condition had worsened during his brief absence.

Then John's eyes slowly opened and tried to focus on the people around him. They frantically searched until they found Rodney and when they finally did, John smiled. It was a weak smile, but it gave Rodney the impression that Sheppard was not ready to give up the ghost just yet. He spoke, haltingly and weakly, his voice barely a whisper.

"You have to save them," he breathed, his eyes slowly closing. "I know you can. Do it for me."

_To be continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

For the first time, Richard Woolsey wasn't going to send a report in on time. It would tarnish his impeccable record. But for once, he didn't care.

He sat staring at his tablet and the half-written document he started an hour before. The weekly report mostly covered the problems of the day to day running of the city, pretty much the same thing every week. Occasionally he would get to send back something interesting, like a new medicine found on a planet, or details on new life forms discovered. This report had none of these things. The most interesting part of it would be the disappearance of Sheppard's team, and he had nothing to say about that.

He wasn't sure if he should include the disappearance just yet. He had no information, received no communications as to their whereabouts or wellbeing. He couldn't even hazard a guess over their disappearance and certainly didn't wish to prematurely write them off.

Lorne was already on his way to Caronaa. In readiness of worst-case scenario, Woolsey had insisted Carson Beckett also attend. The Scottish doctor wasn't exactly pleased to be added to the crew manifest, stating that he'd had an argument with some doctor on Caronaa. Carson went with Lorne regardless of his mumblings, as he always did.

The Gate wooshed to life a little after eleven at night. Woolsey put down his tablet and hurried from his office.

"It's a communications from Major Lorne, sir," Chuck said.

Woolsey nodded and Chuck opened communications.

"This is Atlantis, what's happening Major Lorne?"

"Sir, we're above the planet but so far haven't been able to communicate with Colonel Sheppard's team. We're about to head inland in case they are within the dampening field."

"And what about the ship Zelenka said would be there?"

"Oh, it's here, sir. Sending back images, now."

A screen to the right of Chuck connected with a signal from across the galaxy. On it, Woolsey saw the crashed ship and the beings moving about it. The ship was huge, far bigger than the Daedalus though nothing compared to a Wraith Hive. Its hull was of red pitted metal, long lines of the stuff laid in plates across it much like sections of a spiderweb. Between each plate were thinner lengths of blue metal, in which lights were set every few meters. On its top was a cannon array, or at least, what Woolsey took to be one. Each cannon seemed wide enough to fire a car and there were three of them, each with its own independent turret. The ship had landed partially on its side. In the rear section was a massive, ragged hole; a possible reason for the crash. Evidently, the impact had been at speed as there was a gouge in the ground that stretched at least a mile back from the crash site.

Woolsey looked closer to the screen to get a better view of the creatures moving around the ship. Some crawled over the damaged section, hauling new metal plates into place. Others were fixing the plates in place with arcing light of a strange, green hue. Still others wandered around the crash site, holding peculiar weapons Woolsey hadn't seen before.

_Perimeter guards_ , he presumed.

To the front of the ship were a number of creatures moving large, dark tanks of fluid on floating platforms. He thought they might be fuel canisters as the creatures moved them with great care. They were unlike any creature he'd seen but from their size and aggravation towards each other, he knew they were dangerous.

"Major Lorne, maintain radio silence in case these creatures are the reason AR-1 is missing. Don't land until close to Central City. I expect an update as soon as possible."

"Roger that, Lorne, out."

Woolsey returned to his office. He lifted the tablet and stared at it for a few moments then put it back down with a tired sigh. The report could wait a little longer. He had other things to attend to, like, providing backup to both Lorne and Sheppard's teams.

Having seen the ship, its size, and inhabitants, Woolsey knew the danger on Caronaa would require more than just one rescue team. Should Lorne's ship go down, it would be another four hours before backup could be sent for them. So Woolsey made the decision to send another two Jumpers. He hailed majors Stackhouse and Teldy and told them to muster teams for immediate deployment.

Anne Teldy arrived less than four minutes after he hailed her, fully kitted up with three of her teammates. Woolsey stood, feeling rather inadequate before the all-female team and their aura of strength.

"What's happening, sir?" Teldy asked as she checked her comm.

"There is a problem on Caronaa."

"Caronaa? What could possibly go wrong there? With the exception of the plague, those people could hold off an army of wraiths if they had to."

Woolsey lowered his eyes and pushed his tablet across the table. "Colonel Sheppard's team are missing. We've had no communication since they left. Major Lorne is there now, and sent back this."

Teldy regarded the tablet, her eyes widening at the sight of the heavily armoured craft.

"You think these beings are involved with their disappearance?"

"It's a possibility. That ship is big enough to take on the Daedalus and more."

"I doubt it," Teldy remarked. "Not with that amount of damage."

"Perhaps, but consider the creatures around it."

Teldy leaned closer, as did Dusty Mehra, the only other surviving member of Teldy's original team. Both their faces were grim as they watched the creatures mill around the craft.

"They must be what, ten feet tall?" Mehra asked.

"Maybe more," Teldy replied and pushed the tablet back across the desk. "We're ready to head out. Caran is already in the Jumper bay getting things set up," she said, referring to the fourth member of her team.

Woolsey nodded as he pulled the tablet in front of him and stopped the video. Stackhouse stepped into the office. He'd been promoted to major following the death of Major Leonard and both his and Teldy's teams made up AR-3 and AR-4. Stackhouse's team comprised of large, burly men who dwarfed the female team, yet Woolsey had no doubt Teldy's team were just as strong, efficient, and deadly.

"There is to be no interaction with the downed ship or its occupants. At this time we don't know if they have anything to do with AR-1's disappearance, although, that may be a possibility. I want one team on standby watching that ship at all times. The other will join Major Lorne with the search for the missing team. If these creatures attack, you have permission to return fire, but you will not engage if there is no hostility."

"We'll meet up with Major Lorne," Teldy said. "My copilot, Nara, is a good tracker and can help search for Colonel Sheppard's team on the ground."

Stackhouse nodded. "Makes sense. We will remain cloaked in the vicinity of the downed ship and relay messages back to Atlantis."

"Okay," Woolsey replied clapping his hands together. "So we have a plan. Report in as soon as you arrive."

The teams headed to their Jumpers and Woolsey watched them depart for Caronaa several minutes later. He returned to his office and picked up his tablet and sighed. To hell with Stargate Command and all the bureaucracy. He'd write the report once he had something solid to report back. In another life and on another world such a thought would never have entered his head. But his life was different now. He made decisions he never would have on Earth and took risks he would have run from previously. Since arriving on Atlantis, taking command and seeing how life ran in this galaxy, Woolsey came to understand that all the things that Earth demanded were not on any list of priorities here, and nor should they be.

Atlantis wasn't an extension of Stargate Command in any real sense. It was a colony, a family, all fighting to survive in a place they were never meant to be. It changed how one saw things, how one thought of things and ultimately how one acted and reacted as a result. No, Stargate Command could wait for his report, because Richard Woolsey was not the same man who walked through that gate on Earth. The man who stepped onto Atlantis was a very different man and one who cared more for the people who worked beneath him than he could ever show.

_To be continued... Fat dragon? Never heard of it. COOKIES!_


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'm really not keeping up with replying to reviews! Not enough time in the day, but I do read them as soon as I get up in the morning :D Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on the story. To put minds at ease, this isn't going to be a short story, and that's all I'm saying. We had no electricity today due to power line upgrades so I haven't been able to write. Therefore, I am a day behind at least. Even though the updates might slow a little as I return to work next week (trust me, I plan to spend these final days of annual leave in the blistering sun which is currently boiling Scotland!) I promise to continue to update when I can, and will not let this story die without an ending ;) Anyway, on with the story...

 

_Chapter 14_

Rodney was freaking out. He tried to hide it, kept on working while his heart broke and his mind tired. He was losing the battle and John was dying. This would normally hurt him on the egotistical level, but it was more than that. He just couldn't face losing John.

The place was transformed after John woke. Sama still wouldn't allow him to be moved into the village, but he did at least order a mattress and linen to be brought for him. He also sent for the village doctor to help in any way she could. John was hooked up to a saline drip, and a tube was passed through his nose and down into his stomach to feed him. The doctor said that nourishing him in this way after such malnutrition could be dangerous. Rodney asked why and was met with an explanation that only Carson Beckett would understand. Rodney just nodded. The infusion might keep John going a little longer and save more Goh from sacrificing themselves. That was all he was interested in.

John fell unconscious soon after he awoke. He'd mentioned Goh, Groten, war and species annihilation. The tiny creature's invasion of John happened without any malicious intent. It had simply been a make-do reaction to their captivity by danu. John mentioned that the Goh were dying, that  _he_ was dying. All he wanted was for the team to help the Goh survive. To what end? To die so that they could live?

Rodney wouldn't allow it.

With a new perspective on things, his mind churned over the scant facts John had told them.

Goh were the trivialities. They were able to control and communicate with a host in order to survive. From this Rodney surmised there would be some kind of synaptic and neuronal communication going on and thought perhaps this was something he could use. He'd asked Sama for help, knowing that now John had spoken, it had spurred the leader's interest. The people of Caronaa were peaceful, intelligent, and inquisitive. Their technological advances didn't pull them too far from their simple lives but rather supported it. At Rodney's request, Sama sent for the village scientists with an order for electronic essentials and one of their bio-suits.

As well as for defense, the Caronaa warriors used the bio-suits to work in the forest without fear of the creatures that resided there. Large mechanoid machines made of a blue metal, with strong arms, three-fingered hands and an array of weaponry. A hatch in the back allowed the users to enter, and a neuronal interface allowed the user to become one with the machine. It was this interface that Rodney needed.

Apparently, curiosity had allowed Sama to overcome his fear of what resided within John. He even offered to help Rodney, keen to watch what he was doing.

"Now that there is something in it for you, you want to help?" Rodney remarked scathingly.

"It makes sense to help, Fer McKay," Sama smiled unfazed. "What we discover today, will ultimately help us tomorrow."

Rodney sneered and took the bio-suit controller Sama offered. "Just, keep out of my way."

It took Rodney twenty minutes to extract the interface from the suit and enough cabling for what he wanted. He sat buddha-style on the floor beside John's bed. Cables and pieces of electronics lay before him. He pulled his tablet onto his knees and started testing the three cables from the interface. Happy with what he read on the screen, he proceeded to open the interface and solder a fourth cable to the processor. Lost in thought and deep in his work, Rodney waited for John to wake again so that he might communicate with the one Sheppard called Primus. Not to save it, but to save John.

It was a shock to Rodney that the creatures he'd seen pouring from the carcass at the lake were in any way intelligent. He'd believed them to be purely parasitic beings, living wherever life would sustain them. To discover there was intelligence there, and also vast, ancient knowledge meant they might know of a way to save Sheppard.

As he worked, Teyla cleansed and dressed John's wounds under the watchful eye of Rella, the village doctor. Rella explained that the wounds were worse and not healing due to the Goh feeding on his tissues and blood. They could not heal even though the Goh had stopped feeding, as John was so poorly there wasn't enough in his system to heal them. Therefore, Teyla attended to them to prevent infection while muttering prayers to the Ancestors. This thoroughly annoyed Rodney due to the fact her Gods were simply their long-dead ancestors. Maybe his irritation was because he was tired. The Caronaa version of coffee wasn't as stimulating as that back in Atlantis. And it tasted awful. He had to do without and his thought processes were paying for the lack of decent caffeine. Rodney rubbed his eyes, chose to put the cabling down and take a short break. He listened to Ronon instead, as he conversed with the village warriors about their bio-suits.

Without their mechanical suits, they were just ordinary men and women, scientists and soldiers combined. One was a woman named, Orna, just returned from patrol and still in her suit.

"Do you use the suits against the danu?" Ronon asked as Teyla joined him in the conversation.

"We do, yes," Orna replied. "But the danu are stronger even than the bio-suits. A few of us have died in twisted metal due to the denu strength."

The reply obviously left Ronon disheartened as he winced and sat on a haybale. "They didn't harm them at all?" he asked as he rubbed his broken arm.

Orna moved fractionally and the bio-suit raised its arms. The powerful hands opened and closed. The weapons came online one by one then powered down once the show of power was over. "Yes," she replied. "Of course we did, Fer Dex. The suit weapons were designed for use against the creatures of the forest, after all. This is why the denu don't enter the village. But, the denu have strange and fast-moving bodies, Fer Dex, which makes close combat impossible."

Ronon nodded thoughtfully.

_So between prayer girl and muscle boy, the only one doing any_ real  _work is, me,_  Rodney thought.  _I seem to be the only one even remotely concerned about John himself._

He returned his attention to the job at hand. He finished soldiering the three cables, then connected the interface to the laptop. Rodney checked that both devices were communicating and proceeded to strip a fourth cable which was attached to the opposite side of the interface.

"Rodney…"

He saw John had awoken and dropped everything to lean closer. "Hey, how do you feel?"

"Perfectly peachy…"

Rodney shook his head. "Tough guy to the end, huh?"

"Have you come up with a plan?"

"You doubted me?" Rodney quipped but saw John's eyes fluttering heavily so hurried to speak before the man passed out again. "Okay. So I've taken an interface from one of the bio-suits and connected it to the laptop so that we can communicate with Primus itself. These cables will—"

"What are you doing?" John asked.

"If I can communicate with Primus, it might be able to help us save you."

John's face clouded with anger. "That's not what I asked you to do, Rod—"

"Did you really think I was going to give you up without a fight?! Huh?!" Rodney snapped furiously. The room around him fell silent. He looked and saw the eyes of all present watching him and found he didn't care.

John said nothing, just watched him as the others did. Rodney couldn't help himself and let loose all his pent-up frustrations and spoke from his breaking heart. "Now that there is some modicum of hope, do really think I will give up and let you die? You can't ask me to give up on you, John. You just… can't. And I  _won't._  Don't tell me not to try this, don't tell me to let it go and lose you, for… for  _them!"_  Rodney's eyes welled with tears. "You're the only family I have here, John. You're my brother," he looked down at his hands and whispered, "how can I let you die?"

John coughed weakly and closed his eyes. He swallowed thickly and said, "Tell me the plan."

Rodney wiped his eyes and looked around, but everyone had either looked away and got on with their own work or left the barn. Rodney cleared his throat and pulled himself together. He lifted the interface he was working on and showed it to John. "You say this Primus is an all knowledgeable being. With this interface, I should be able to communicate with it and you can conserve energy. If this works the way I think it will, and it will because I made it—"  
"Rodney…"

"—then while we formulate a plan to save Primus and its kind, it can help us to help you."

"If there was a way, don't you think Primus would have mentioned it?"

"Well, I don't know. I don't know it personally. I can only assume it hasn't thought of saving you because, like you, it thinks there is no way to do so."

John opened his eyes again. He stared at Rodney quietly, making him feel rather uncomfortable after a while.

"You can't fix everything, Rodney," he whispered. "You can't fix  _me_."

Rodney looked away and to the pieces in his hands. "I know. But I have to try," he replied sadly.

John continued to stare at him until his eyelids slowly closed. "Yeah," he whispered. "I love you too, you big lemon."

Rodney chuckled and went to reply, only John was already losing consciousness. He hurriedly dropped everything, took hold of and gently shook John's shoulders. He felt none of the muscle John once possessed. The Goh had drained him so much he was almost just skin and bone.

"Tell Primus I'll insert a connection into your spine!" Rodney shouted despairingly. "Tell it to use it to communicate with us. John?  _John?!_ "

John's eyes were closed and there was no sign that he heard Rodney's desperate pleas. He released John's shoulders, sat back on the ground, and wept. He tried to hide his tears from everyone else in the barn, hoping his moment of weakness went unnoticed.

But someone did notice.

Rodney flinched when he felt a hand touch his arm. John's trembling hand gently tightened in reassurance and Rodney saw his eyes open once more.

"I told Primus your plan," he whispered. "It says to do it soon."

_To be continued... Feed meh more cookies! :D_


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry folks! I suffered a bout of heat exhaustion the other day and haven't been quite right the last few days. Imagine that, a dragon who hates the heat... Feeling better now, so time to get a new chapter up :D 

Chapter 15

Following Rodney's heartbreaking conversation with John, Teyla needed time to herself. While she'd yet to fully breakdown like Rodney, she was sure spending another minute within the barn would hasten such a display of emotion. She was also sure Ronon felt the same, though the Satedan would never willingly show it. His rare shows of affection were often limited to the occasional hug or warm smile, but Teyla could see the toll John's situation was taking on him. She shared their pain and sorrow, but someone had to keep it together to see them all through this.

She wandered through the village taking in the sights and smells while watching the warriors parading back and forth along the tree line in their bio-suits. Occasionally, one would fire into the trees and Teyla would hear the screeching of a dying, giant insect. She wondered how such creatures had evolved on this world. Most planets with humanoid inhabitants as the dominant species were the same as her own planet; insects and wildlife similar in the size of native cousins back on Earth, or so Rodney said. But the beasts and insects of Caronaa were so different Teyla wondered if, like the Goh, they were foreign to the planet.  
As she wandered towards a pond in the center of the village, Teyla looked into the sky, seeing the sun was much lower than before. Had it really only been a few hours since they were attacked? To Teyla it felt like many days had passed since they set foot on Caronaa. In such a short period of time, they had been attacked, lost their ship, and had been injured— even almost died. It was a bad day from the start.

Now they were losing John, and all Teyla could think about was what would happen when they did. Usually the hopeful one, Teyla found herself considering life without the team to which she had grown accustomed. Three strong men, all with their own personalities and traits, all of whom drove her insane— though she loved each of them dearly. She had a special connection with John, one forged in the heat of battle. He was different from most other men of Earth. He'd shown compassion and loyalty to her people within hours of meeting them. Such a thing was rare in this galaxy. Living under the threat of the wraith meant most people lived for themselves and for the day. John went on to prove his basic personality was a loyal and loving one, caring beyond himself and for others often beyond his limits. To lose John would be to lose the heart of the team.

She stopped by the pond, unable to suppress a quiet sob that made her eyes tear. As she wiped the tears away, her com suddenly sparked to life in her ear.

" _... Colonel… respond… is Lorne… respond…"_

Teyla quickly tapped her earpiece. "Major Lorne?! Major, this is Teyla, it's good to hear your voice!"

" _...Teyla… within range… dampening… five minutes…"_

"Major Lorne, please hurry! Colonel Sheppard has—"

Static exploded from the com and ended the conversation. Teyla ran back towards the barn to inform the others. Hope blossomed within her, for they now had a way to get John back to Atlantis and hopefully treated and saved.

She ran inside to see Ronon holding John on his side while Rodney and Rella worked on his back.

"What are you doing?" Teyla asked as she came to a halt beside them.

"We're placing a wire connected to the synaptic interface into John's spine so that Primus can communicate with us," Rodney replied.

"I just had Major Lorne on the com, he is on his way. Perhaps it would be better to leave Colonel Sheppard alone until we get him back to Atlantis?"

"Technologically speaking, there is little difference between here and Atlantis on how he would be treated. He's too ill to travel four hours in the Jumper, he won't make it to Atlantis," Rodney said as Rella finished placing the thin wire and taped it down. "Not without help from Primus."

"And you think this will allow you to converse with Primus effectively?"

He nodded to Ronon who gently laid John onto his back. "We're about to find out," Rodney said staring at his tablet.

Minutes passed and nothing happened. Rodney pressed at the tablet numerous times but the text box remained empty. "This should be working," he said frustratedly.

" _Teyla, Lorne. We are within the dampening field and north of Central City. What is your location?"_

"We are in the main village south of your location, just outside of the forest. Please hurry, Major. Colonel Sheppard is deathly ill."

" _I have Doctor Beckett with me and will be with you in a few minutes. Hold tight."_

The com fell silent and as it did, the tablet in Rodney's hands came to life.

_This is Primus._

"Yes!" Rodney said elatedly.

_Am I conversing with the one-kin known as McKay?_

Rodney grinned, speaking the answer he simultaneously typed into the tablet. "Yes, this is McKay. I'm hoping you can help us."

_I am unsure how I can._

_We are dying, McKay._

_Limited energy, therefore limited time._

_We can not afford to lose more kin._

"No no no, I'm not asking you to let more die. I need you to come up with a way to save Sheppard, while we save you and your… infants."

_I know of no way, McKay._

Rodney huffed irritatedly and said, "So, you have the same defeatist attitude that Sheppard currently has, huh?"

_It is not an attitude, McKay, it is a fact._

"Look, all I need you to do is stop feeding on Sheppard, allow us to find a way to help you, while you search all that great knowledge of yours to save our friend,  _our_  kin."

_I have already instructed the infants to lay dormant._

_We will not eat, but we will also not survive much longer without doing so._

Teyla was reading over Rodney's shoulder and looked to Rella. "Is there some way we can keep the Goh alive long enough to save John?" she asked.

Rella looked doubtful and was about to speak when Rodney raised a hand to silence them.

"Wait," he said. "Wait a second."

Teyla saw his eyes roving back and forth as he thought. His mouth twitching as he silently mouthed words of his mind. Then he snapped his fingers in the air.

"If we could get the Goh safely out of him and into a vat of water, then maybe we could get John into a… a stasis pod until we can help him. Give him more time, and save them."

"We have stasis pods here," Rella informed them. "I could get one sent from Central City within the hour."

Rodney grinned then typed on the tablet. "What if we were to get you into a vat of water with enough nutrients to survive. Could you leave John without killing him?"

_We would survive in suitable water._

_John would not survive our leaving his body._

_We are in his tissues and blood._

"What about a transfusion?" Teyla asked.

Rella shook her head. "Your blood differs from ours, a transfusion of such would kill him."

"Wouldn't work anyway," Rodney replied. "Just the mechanism of the transfusion would kill the Goh. Plus, I don't think John could survive a complete transfusion right now."

Primus spoke again.

_If we leave John's body, he will die._

_Are you so sure you wish to save us if it will kill him?_

"He wants us to save you," Rodney said and typed angrily. "I will ultimately stand by his decision. But you need to at least  _try_  to find a way to help him."

_Then I will try to find a way to save your kin._

There was a noise outside and Teyla hurried out to see a Jumper landing. She waited for the craft to land then made her way to the rear. The first out was Carson Beckett, who strode quickly towards her with a grim expression.

"It's great to see you, Carson."

"What has the colonel got himself into now?" he asked.

"It's not what he has gotten himself into, rather, what has gotten  _inside of_  him," Teyla replied.

Carson blankly stared at her then said, "I'm gonna need a wee bit more information than that, lass."

As she led them to the barn, Teyla informed Carson and Lorne about what had transpired since they left Atlantis that morning. By the time they had their first view of John, all were fully apprised of the situation. Her words clearly didn't prepare them for what they would see as Lorne and Carson abruptly stopped a few yards inside the barn, both clearly shaken by the sight of John's withered and lifeless form.

"Oh dear God," Carson whispered.

Teyla's heart sank. The look upon the doctor's face was of such fright that the hope which had swelled within her before, dissipated within seconds to be replaced by bitter hopelessness.

_To be continued..._


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! On with the show as they say. I will be returning to work tomorrow. I work night shift and have two shifts in a row. I don't want to go back. I want to live in this holiday life forever! But, reality, must. So there will be probably no update until at least Thursday until my head is screwed back on correctly. But, ideas are moving, the story is progressing and I will continue :D I'll need all the cookies you can give me to keep me going for the next few days... ;)

 

Chapter 16

"Oh thank God," Rodney muttered when he saw Carson. "Maybe now we'll get somewhere."

Carson hurried to John's bedside and kneeled. "Are you saying this happened over the course of only a few hours?" he asked and pulled something from his pocket.

"Yes, though Primus assures us they are no longer feeding," Rodney replied.

Carson shook his head as he moved a handheld medical scanner over John's body. "There are hundreds of them throughout his entire system. I can't even begin to imagine how much damage they've caused."

"Unintentionally," Teyla reminded him.

"Unintentional or not, I doubt even the colonel can survive this. I'm reading malnutrition of irreversible levels. Impending, multiple organ failure. How he's even alive is beyond me."

His words numbed Rodney. The fleeting hope on seeing his doctor friend arrive disappeared like smoke. Panic set in, and insidious despair permeated his mind and conjured within Rodney a fit of anger which made his blood pressure rocket.

Behind him, Teyla sighed. "He is still alive because those within him are trying to save him, giving him time to heal," she said patiently.

"Save him?" Carson said incredulously. "If they intended to save him, they might have stopped consuming him a little earlier! From what I can see, there's not enough left to regenerate. Healing is impossible! Look!" he said, pointing to the small bulges in John's neck. "Look at the size of the things!"

"Carson!" Rodney snapped, his eyes blazing. "Can you think of a way to help him or not? We're running out of time and your doom and gloom aren't helping."

"Eh, pot, kettle, Rodney," Carson snapped back. "We all know you're the doom and gloom merchant around here."

Rodney shook with rage. He dropped the tablet in his hands to the ground as his anger consumed him. He threw Carson a withering look and his hands clenched by his sides. "Do you think we don't know how grave this situation is? I can assure you, we understand oh-too-clearly that our friend is being eaten from the inside out and that we will soon lose him!"

Carson lowered his gaze as his face reddened. "Aye, I guess you are. I'm sorry. It's just a shock to see something like this."

Rodney sighed wearily, his sudden anger dissipating. "Believe me, I know."

They sat silently for a moment, allowing their heightened emotions to calm. Rodney wasn't really angry at Carson. He knew the man had reacted the way he had through shock and pessimism over which he had no control. But Rodney knew there was no time for such thinking. According to Primus, time was running out as John's system headed towards permanent shutdown which would kill John and all who resided within him.

"I was thinking stasis pod," Rodney said after a while. "It might keep John going until we come up with a way to save him. But I've no idea how to get the Goh out of him safely."

"How would they normally get out?" Carson asked.

Rodney was unable to tell him, the words lodged in his throat. He was relieved when Ronon's gruff voice joined the conversation.

"By eating, doc. By the time they are ready to leave, the host has fulfilled its function so they just eat their way out."

Rodney watched Carson's face pale, and he swallowed hard as he looked around the barn. He looked lost and unsure, something he'd never seen in the man before.

"We can't very well open his veins to let these things out, that would just kill him," Rodney said quietly. "If the Daedalus was here, we might have been able to transport them out or… or something," he finished lamely.

"Hold on…" Carson said. "Okay." he clapped his hands together. "Ask Prime… Primer, whatever. Ask  _it_  if it could escape the bloodstream if I set up a non-return valve in one of Colonel Sheppard's major vessels."

Though he raised an eyebrow at the doctor, Rodney lifted his tablet and rapidly typed the question.

_Explain non-return valve,_ Primus responded.

Rodney typed in the answer and they all waited on a reply.

"What good will that do?" Teyla asked the doctor. "He will die whether or not they leave his body unless the effects of the Goh are treated."

"One thing at a time, lass, one thing at a time," Carson replied with a smile that inspired some confidence in Rodney.

_Yes, we could exit Sheppard's body in such a way if the valve led to water and could accommodate our bodies._

"Okay," Carson turned to Rella. "Do you have such a thing here?"

Rella regarded him with clear hostility. "Of course we have. I'm sure we also have water on this planet for the tank you'll need for the Goh."

Rodney knew there was some history between the two, though couldn't exactly remember the details. "While your petty exchanges can be entertaining, this is not the time!" he hissed.

"No, it isn't," Carson admitted.

Rella huffed and relented. "I guess not."

Though the two doctors continued to eye each other venomously, they quietly compiled a list of items necessary for John and the Goh. Rodney tried to keep up but quickly lost the meaning of the conversation as it became more medically intense.

As the two doctors moved away to discuss arrangements with other Caronaa medical staff, Major Lorne took Carson's place next to John's bed, standing while gazing down at John's sleeping form.

"He doesn't look too good," he whispered.

"No," Rodney replied and picked up his tablet. "He doesn't."

Lorne lowered himself down to hunker beside the bed and looked to Rodney. "Doc, I gotta ask. What good is getting him into a stasis pod? You heard Doctor Beckett, there will be no coming back from this."

Though his words were harsh, his voice was soft and Rodney knew Lorne trying his best to make him feel better while highlighting the part of the plan no one had yet discussed. What exactly were they to do once John was in stasis? He couldn't very well stay in such a state forever. Therefore, all the pod would do was prolong their already fading hope. Lorne seemed to sense his despairing and reached to lay a hand on Rodney's shoulder.

"Sorry, doc, I'm just musing aloud."

"No, no, you are quite right, Major. I've no idea if we can do anything for him, but at least stasis gives him a chance of survival."

"What about the thing inside him, has it got a plan?"

Rodney shook his head with dismay. "No, not yet." He looked to the tablet, only to find that Primus had been trying to attract his attention.

_McKay._

_McKay?_

_Sheppard is failing._

_McKay, Sheppard is failing._

_I may have a plan for our survival._

_To clarify, I may have a plan to save Sheppard._

_McKay?_

_McKay?_

_System shutdown is imminent._

"McKay here! How long do we have?" he said as he typed.

"What's going on, Doc?"

Rodney held up his hand to silence Lorne. "Primus? Are you there?"

Long, heart-stopping moments of waiting with held breath seemed to stretch on for eternity as Rodney stared at the screen, willing Primus to reply to his query. The cursor blinked, maddeningly static. The longer the silence, the more Rodney believed something catastrophic had happened. He looked to the screen by the side of John's head that monitored his health signs, grabbed his wrist and held his finger to the pulse point.

"What is it, doc?" Lorne asked concerned.

Rodney watched both screens for any change. John's heart rate increased to dangerous levels, spiking on the screen while pounding rapidly beneath his finger.

"Doctor McKay, what the hell is going on?"

A shudder ran through John's body, barely a tremor that lasted a few seconds before abating. Then his heart rate returned to its now-usual thready state, pulsing weakly beneath Rodney's finger while also slowing on the screen.

Then the cursor on the tablet moved.

_I am here._

_I apologize._

_I had to eat again in order to maintain this communication._

Rodney grimaced at the confession and swiftly removed his hand from John's wrist.

"Are you able to continue?" he asked Primus.

_I am sufficiently sated to keep conversing for a while longer._

"Oh, good. So long as you're  _sated,"_  Rodney mumbled without typing his words. Seeing Lorne's confused expression he added, "Primus had to eat to keep talking with us."

"Eat? You mean…?"

"Yes, that was Colonel Sheppard screaming silently with pain," Rodney said sharply. Only he regretted the words as soon as he said them as Lorne flinched back and stared at John. While Rodney had been dealing with it for hours now and grown somewhat accustomed to what was happening within John, Lorne had no real appreciation until right then. Rodney was sure the horrified expression on Lorne's face was the same one he'd been wearing himself since this entire debacle had begun.

A message on the tablet drew Rodney's attention away from Lorne and back to Primus.

_There may be a slim chance for Sheppard's survival._

"I don't believe it, there's a chance!" he said to Lorne who leaned over to read the tablet.

"What chance?" they said in unison as Rodney typed the words into the tablet.

_The birthing valleys of our home seas could be John Sheppard's salvation._

_._

_Oooh to be continued..._


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Carson and Lorne struggled to coordinate the delivery of the stasis pod. Rodney had to look away from the thing. The pod was a long, sleek and white box that made him shiver; it looked too much like a coffin for his comfort. They placed it at the other side of the barn for Rella to work on, then returned to John's bedside.

"Birthing valleys? What birthing valleys?" Carson asked as he checked John over.

"Primus says that the sea in which the Goh originate have underwater valleys where the young are birthed and old disperse," Rodney explained excitedly. "These valleys go on for miles in a circular track on the seafloor. A constantly moving stream of water circulating the entire Goh living area."

Lorne scratched his head and frowned. "Water moving within water? Never heard the likes of it."

"Think of it like a wind tunnel beneath the sea, only it's water. This water is densely packed with nutrients and Primus says it even has powerful regenerative properties."

"For the Goh, perhaps," Carson replied. "I doubt such water would hold anything of benefit for Colonel Sheppard."

"Is it not worth a try?" Rodney said testily. "I mean, it's not as if we have a hundred other ways to help him."

Carson checked on John and said, "Okay, say we go ahead with this. How do we get him to this underwater place and keep him alive? I doubt the water is powerful enough to initiate the growth of gills."

"Oh ha, ha," Rodney replied dryly. "I'm not saying it would be easy, we just need to figure out the details and get him there."

"There are other things to consider, Rodney. If these creatures live on the seafloor as they say, how deep are these valleys? Would the pressure of the depths kill Colonel Sheppard before we even reached the valleys?"

Though Carson wasn't inspiring much confidence, Rodney refused to give up on the idea. "Maybe the valleys aren't as deep as we think. The Goh are small, for all we know their sea is merely a river, or at least, not so deep as to create the crushing pressure you refer to. Also, shallow depths might explain how the Groten seem to be able to harvest them so easily."

"Even so," Carson continued, relentless in his fault-finding. "How do we get him there? How do we submerge him? How do we keep him breathing? Plus, we don't even know where the Goh homeworld is!"

"Ah, but we might know where it is," Rodney said smugly. "Sama already told us they put a Groten in the extraction chair, so, Central City should have information for where the planet is located."

Carson looked to Rella who nodded then raised her communication device to request the information. He then looked to Rodney and sighed. "Even if we find the planet, we've no way of placing him in the water for any length of time in a way that wouldn't harm him. Even if this water is as good as Primus says, I doubt it would be a quick dip in and back out."

Rodney's enthusiasm was waning. He knew Carson wasn't shooting down ideas out of meanness; the doctor was simply unable to inspire hope when none currently existed. But Rodney was sure this plan would work if they could only figure how to carry it out. He looked desperately around himself, eyes wide and anxiety spilling from him in waves he was sure the others could sense.

"The stasis pod," he eventually said. "It can be modified in some way to hold him in the water while sustaining his life." He was clutching at straws but at least it was an idea. No one else seemed to be coming up with anything other than himself and Primus.

Carson remained doubtful, but he nodded to the tablet and said, "What's Primus saying about it all?"

"Nothing much," Rodney said glumly and looked to the tablet. "It's scared to talk in case it needs to eat again. Primus is making sure that all the stuff you're pumping into John is for him and the infants."

"What if we set up some kind of nutrition for it alone to allow it to talk to us better?"

Rodney typed the words into the tablet and they both waited for a reply.

_This would be acceptable._

"Maybe it can help us iron out the problems we're worrying over," Carson said with a grin. "I'll get Rella to sort something for Primus while I get the tank fixed up for John." Carson patted Rodney on the shoulder and went to walk away. "Hope is not lost yet, my friend."

Within half an hour of the new infusion being set up, John Sheppard began communicating through the synaptic interface. At first, Rodney was suspicious that it was just Primus, but a few private details released in reply to his queries soon put to bed any more suspicions.

" _This is weird,"_  John said.

"You think it's weird? You should be this side of things," Rodney replied.

" _How close are we to a solution?"_

"Getting there. We're looking into taking you to the Goh planet as Primus thinks it will help."

" _What about the others?"_

"What others?"

" _The Goh in the tanks of the crippled ship? Have you got them to safety yet?"_

Rodney snorted with disbelief. "Are you kidding me?! We will be lucky to save you!" he typed.

"What is it?" Lorne asked and moved to get a better view of the tablet in Rodney's hands.

"Sheppard wants us to save  _all_  of the Goh! The ones in him  _and_  the ones in the Groten ship!"

"Is he having a bloody laugh?" Carson called over.

"No, he's not," Rodney replied.

" _I did ask you to try."_

"No, you said, save them, not save  _all_  of them!"

" _Final wish, Rodney. If it can be done, do it."_

"I refuse to discuss final wishes, John. We don't have the resources here to do what you ask!"

" _Like it or not, Rodney, the chances of my survival are slim. But the Goh can be saved."_

"But…  _why?_ " Rodney typed angrily.

" _Because they are the victims in this. Those tanks hold the last of an entire civilisation, Rodney. If saving them is something we can do, then we should."_

Rodney hung his head and sighed. It was bad enough that John was near death, now he wanted them to save the very things killing him. As final wishes went, John couldn't have made a more difficult request. But Rodney felt he had no choice but to carry out this final wish, because it was John asking.

Major Lorne was still staring at the tablet, biting his lower lip and deep in thought. "Maybe we can save them," he finally said.

Rodney huffed with exasperation. "How?!"

"When I dialed in to let Atlantis know we'd found you, Woolsey said he'd sent another two teams behind me. They should arrive soon, so, we now have three Jumpers."

"And? You've not seen the Groten, you've no idea what they're capable of."

"Oh, I saw them, alright. We did a flyby on the way here."

"You can't possibly believe we can take on these creatures?!"

"But we should try," Lorne insisted. "The colonel is right. The Goh are being slaughtered, used in a war as weapons, doc. It's like watching genocide."

"Genocide is the deliberate mass killing of people, but I take your point. What can we do?"

"We can use one Jumper to take Colonel Sheppard, supplies and a team to the Goh planet while the rest of us go and liberate the Goh, if we can," Lorne replied.

Carson stopped working on the stasis pod and rejoined them. He seemed pensive. Rodney thought perhaps it was because it seemed John was giving up hope of coming back to them.

"But who will fly the spare Jumper?" Carson asked. "I'll need to be with Sheppard at all times if we are to save him."

"We'll need you here to fly the Jumper, Doctor Beckett. We can't be rushing into a fight without a medic on our side."

"Yeah, I thought so," he said, and Rodney watched his expression become even sadder. "I guess I have some apologizing to do."

He looked to Rodney and Lorne and shrugged, then he made his way across the barn to Rella.

"What was that about?" Lorn asked.

"I've no idea," Rodney replied and watched Cason leave.

_To be continued..._


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very busy in real life, but I have not forgotten! I'm two chapters ahead, so still writing when I can! :D Loving the reviews! Keep the cookies coming! :D

 

Chapter 18

Carson thought this day could only get worse. He reluctantly made his way towards Rella, his heart pounding and hands sweating. She eyed him coolly for a second then returned her attention to the stasis pod.

"Can we talk?" he asked, coming to a stop beside her.

The slim brunette shrugged as she dropped cabling into the pod then stood. She slipped past him with barely an acknowledgment and walked outside. Carson followed, feeling increasingly uncomfortable while thinking it was no less than he deserved. Once outside, he sighed dramatically when he saw Rella had moved quite a distance away and was still moving despite him calling her name. But, he followed as there were things he needed to say, things he'd put off for too long.

Carson had never been lucky in love, and his relationship with Rella paid testament to that. When the plague swept through her village and into Central City, Carson had worked closely with Rella to bring the infection under control. Many weeks working together turned into a closeness that neither could deny. They started seeing each other, got much closer than Carson ever had to being in love. He stayed long after the plague was treated and commuted to Caronaa on down days to be with her. Then, three months after they met, everything changed.

Carson sighed again, his shoulders dropping as he followed her along the path. He continued to call her name but Rella didn't stop, didn't respond in any way. Just kept on walking until she came to a small, white wall and leaned against it while refusing to look at him.

"Rella, we need to sort this out so we can get on with the task at hand and help Colonel Sheppard."

She didn't immediately respond, taking the time to fold her arms, raise an eyebrow and glared at him for a minute before she spoke. "Okay, so talk," she said gruffly.

Carson swallowed hard, unable to look her in the eye. He felt like a schoolboy trying to speak to his first crush, it was embarrassing. The longer it took to say the words, the more difficult it became to speak at all. Eventually, he cleared his throat and managed to look at her.

"I'm sorry."

Rella raised an eyebrow. "Sorry for what, Carson? The fact you left without even saying goodbye? For ripping out my heart as you stepped on that damned ship of yours? Or are you only sorry because you need my help now?"

"This  _isn't_ because of the current situation," he lowered his gaze and looked at his hands. "This is something I should have done months ago." He nervously played with his fingers in a show of unsureness as all feelings for this woman he'd tried to bury over the past year surfaced in one overwhelming tsunami of emotion.

Rella remained cold and bitter, completely uncaring of his discomfort. "Then why did you do it?"

Carson knew the only thing that he could do was tell the truth. Anything else and Rella would know immediately and just walk away, forever.

"I was scared, okay?"

She just stared at him. "Scared?"

"Aye. Too scared to commit."

"I don't understand."

"I've never been lucky in relationships. Usually, I'm the one left behind and hurt, so I've never been in a relationship where I've been happy for any length of time. With you it was different. I was so happy, almost  _too_ happy. I was scared I'd make a commitment only for it would all go to ruin as always. I didn't want to be the only one thinking we had something of worth. In the end, I did what I always do, sabotage the relationship so it couldn't be anything other than what I always expect, a failure."

Rella looked as if she was about to laugh and Carson just felt even worse.

"You ran away in case it was a failure so that it definitely  _would_  be a failure?"

Carson tried to smile but hearing her say it made him feel silly. "Aye, something like that."

"You know that's crazy, don't you?"

Carson nodded, feeling every inch an idiot. "I don't expect you to forgive me, heck, I hardly even expect for you to talk to me after this. But that's the truth."

Rella stared at him for a few moments. She never blinked, just stared, long and hard and Carson had to look away, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny. She went to say something, then hesitated, pushed off from the wall, and moved past him. Carson watched her leave, feeling like the failure he knew he would be, yet this was compounded by the knowledge that his stupidity would have a detrimental impact on Sheppard and the others.

Therefore, he was shocked when Rella stopped and turned to him and said, "Well?" Are we going to save your friend or not?"

Carson hurried after her, relieved and smiling brightly when he caught up to her. "We can try, at least. If there is anyone in the galaxy that I trust with their lives, it's you."

"Don't think this means anything," she said. "Let's fix your friend first, then maybe, and I stress  _maybe_ , we can talk about us."

His relief didn't last long. He and Rella stepped through the barn door and into the middle of a fight. Ronon and Rodney were in each other's faces, angry and shouting at each other while everyone else watched on in shock. Teyla was trying to get between them, ineffectual in her attempts to split the men apart and calm the situation down. Carson was shocked to find Major Lorne was leaning against the wall by the door watching the show with a smirk on his face, evidently finding the entire scene amusing. Carson shot him a glare and Lorne shrugged self-consciously.

"Aw come on, Doc! It's McKay, taking on Ronon! I can't wait to see how it ends!"

Carson glared at him and Lorne had the sense to look away, abashed.  
"Aye, I'll tell you how it ends, right bloody now!" he said then strode to the fighting men. "What in blazes is going on here?!" he shouted. "What kind of way is this to act when Colonel Sheppard is dying right beside you?!"

The two men stopped shouting at each other long enough to allow Teyla to finally push them apart. "They are arguing about who gets to go with John to the Goh planet."

"Whit?!" Carson cried. "It doesn't matter who goes! All that matters is we get him there and he survives!"

"But I want to go with him," Rodney said. "I am the only one who can keep the interface working that allows communication with John and Primus."

"Yeah, and I'm the only one who can protect him if a Groten attacks," Ronon snarled.

"God almighty, are you listening to yourselves?! You're both acting like bloody children! Don't you think all of us want to go with Colonel Sheppard and ensure his safety? I know I want to, but some of us have to stay behind and ensure his final wish is carried out!"

That stopped both men in their tracks. They both finally looked to him, suddenly unsure of their conviction.

"I need to stay behind to make sure everyone carrying out said wish is cared for, and I'm happy with my part in this. I trust Rella to ensure Sheppard's safety because she is every bit as competent as I am to keep him alive. You two need to trust each other with the job at hand and stop acting like bloody kids!"

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Rodney slowly raised his hand. "I guess I could show someone how to use the interface," he said haltingly then looked to Ronon. "I mean, it's not as if you could head into the battle with a broken arm."

Ronon huffed and looked down at his arm, strapped across his chest. "Yeah, not sure how I would fare against a Groten on any planet right now."

"But you'd do better than me," Rodney replied, suddenly more confident in his words. "I've seen you take on a wraith with one hand behind your back!"

"Yeah, and I guess I've seen your fighting skills get better over the years," Ronon replied grudgingly.

"So are we all okay?" Carson demanded.

Both men eyed each other warily, then nodded their agreement.

Carson shook his head. "Honestly, it's like being back at school with this team," he said then made his way to John's bedside to check on him.

As Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla were now holding a private discussion, Lorne decided to join Carson.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side, Doc," he smiled.

"And you're just as bad as them," Carson replied wearily.

"What? It was fun!"

"Aye, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!" Carson said, his eyes wandering to Rella.

She stared back at him, a slight smile to her lips. Then she nodded her head, and there seemed to be more to the gesture than just acknowledgment of his words. Carson smiled, wondering if perhaps this day might get better after all.

_To be continued... feed the dragon... :D_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Team AR-3's Jumper dropped from the upper atmosphere and down to sixty feet above the ground. As it leveled out, they heard a clunking noise from the left side of the Jumper, prompting Teldy to ask for a systems check. She cloaked the Jumper and headed in the direction of Central City, flew over the crashed alien ship and, out of curiosity, hovered there for a while.

" _We're not to engage,"_  Stackhouse reminded her over the comm.

"I'm aware of that, Major. I just want to see these creatures up close, maybe learn a little about them before any chance of engagement."

The team had a good look at the ship and the creatures around it. Even Caran Muro, the team's scientist, stopped her system check to have a quick look before returning to what she was doing.

"Wow. Do you see the size of those things?" Mehra asked, leaning over Teldy's shoulder. She was chewing gum and blew a large bubble before she said, "they could take the Hulk down."

"Yes, Dusty, I can see them."

"Don't you think it's strange that they are so careful with those tanks?" Nara asked from the copilot seat. "Like, as if they were filled with explosives or bombs."

Teldy watched the working creatures, hauling tanks from the ship's interior on the floating platforms. From the rear of the Jumper came the quiet voice of Caran.

"I think it's more strange they are taking the tanks from the ship."

Teldy turned in her seat to look at Caran. "Why?"

Caran put her tablet down and made her way back to the cockpit. "They are repairing the ship, yet removing these tanks which they handle so carefully, even reverently. Why?"

"Enlighten us," Teldy said.

"I don't know, do I? But I think it's strange." Caran replied then went back to the rear of the ship.

Teldy looked to Mehra who just shrugged and returned to her position behind the pilot seat.

Having seen enough, Teldy activated her comm as she moved the Jumper over the forest. "Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne, please respond."

There was no reply.

"Nara, do you see anything we can follow down there?"

The short blond peered out the cockpit window, searching the ground passing below for any sign. After a while, she pointed to the far left. "There, over in the clearing. That looks like a landing site to me."

Indeed, the area she pointed to was flat enough to land a Jumper and there were a few indentations in the ground that might be from just such a ship. Teldy took the Jumper closer and hovered over the spot, seeing three dead creatures with what appeared to be P90 bullet holes.

"Yeah, that looks like the work of Sheppard's team," Mehra snorted and chewed harder on her gum.

Teldy surveyed the ground searching for any clue as to which direction the team had taken. She noted a dark, muddy mark on the ground next to the apparent landing site.

"Is that blood?" she asked, pointing it out to Nara.

"Looks like it. And there are trails leaving this area," Nara pointed, "one looks as if someone was dragged. I'd say one of the team was injured and the others pulled them from here after an ambush."

Teldy activated her comm again. "Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne, this is Teldy. Please respond."

Still no reply.

"Ok, I'll take the Jumper higher, Nara, keep an eye on those trails."

The Jumper glided almost silently above the forest canopy. Even from there, they could see the odd enormous insect moving within the trees or the giant beast native to Caronaa. Wherever AR-1 was, Teldy was sure the forest hadn't made their trek easy.

They followed the trail to the radically transformed Lake Parnak. It was disturbing to see such a place of beauty reduced to the festering sight before them. There were creatures by the lake, the same ones from the downed ship, though not as robust as the others they'd seen.

"They must be sick ones," Nara said as one creature folded over itself and dropped to the ground. "Maybe this is how they die, far away from the healthy."

Teldy didn't know or really care, as she spotted footprints leading back into the forest. She followed this trail until it was hidden by the trees then flew onwards towards the first village. She could see it on the horizon, a bright, mass of white structures against the skyline. As they approached, Teldy tried to hail the other teams again. This time, her hails were answered.

" _Major Teldy, Lorne here."_

"Good to hear from you major. How are they?"

" _Not good. I'll fill you in shortly. Who is in the other Jumper?"_

"Major Stackhouse and his team. He's waiting near the gate to relay information to Atlantis."

" _Go back out of the dampening field and message him. I need you all here in the village. Get back to me, pronto."_

"Roger that," Teldy signed off and turned the Jumper around.

As they flew back along the path they had taken, Teldy saw an increased movement of the creatures in the forest. It looked like a small army, all heading in one direction at a steady pace. As soon as was possible, she hailed Stackhouse and relayed Lorne's message. It appeared that their mission was a success. The missing team was found and the teams were coordinated. They could relax a little.

Right on cue, the creatures on the ground began firing on Teldy's Jumper. Three hits in rapid succession threw the Jumper into a nosedive.

"Are we uncloaked?!" yelled Teldy.

"Crap! I'm on it!" Caran shouted. The scientist cursed as she tried to get the ship under control. She ripped out crystals and pushed in cables, her hands working in a blur as she fought to keep the ship airborne. The Jumper leveled out and Teldy regained control.

The creatures continued to fire and a blast hit the viewport and smeared black goop down it.

"What the hell are they firing?!" Mehra shouted.

"I don't know, but we're getting the hell out of here, cloak or not."

"It's stuff from the tanks!" Nara said. "Look!"

Teldy watched as one creature forced the rear of its weapon into a port in the tank, withdrawing it after a few seconds then continued firing upon them.

"And by the looks of it, they're heading towards the village," Mehra commented.

Teldy took the Jumper to the upper atmosphere and activated her comm. "Major Lorne, respond!"

"He won't get it because of the dampening field, we need to go back," Caran said pulling cables out and replacing the crystals she'd removed from the system.

"Stackhouse, we are under attack and it looks as if Lorne and the others will be in trouble soon. We need backup to the southern village."

" _On our way!"_

Teldy pushed the Jumper's limits and flew with haste towards the village.  
"Cloak is up," Caran informed her.

Taking a deep scan of the forest, Teldy could see more creatures within the trees below, working their way towards the village. Though she wasn't sure what their weapons actually did, she could see they were well armed. Behind the forward scouts, other creatures pushed one of the tanks on a floating platform, flanked by yet other armed guards.

"Wonder why they are headed to the village," Nara mused.

"Caran, can you do anything about communications? Clear up and boost the signal or something?" Teldy asked.

"Working on it now."

The creatures were moving swiftly. They would reach the village not long after the Jumper did, leaving little time to warn anyone.

"Try, now!" Caran called from the rear.

"Major Lorne, please respond."

" _Lorne here, where are you?"_

"We're on our way to the village. We detected movement in the forest, creatures from the crashed ship. They're heading your way and look like they mean business."

" _Shit. I'll inform the village leader, get some extra warriors to the forest line."_

"That won't do, Major. Multiple enemies, fully loaded. They have a tank of... ammunition."

" _Whatever you do, do not engage. Go nowhere near the tanks. Get to the village for a full report."_

"Roger that. We will be with you in a few minutes."

The forest fell behind as the Jumper flew towards the village. The village warriors were mere yards from the treeline, their bio-suits fully armed and ready. From the village, more warriors were hurrying out to bolster the defense. Teldy spotted AR-2's Jumper and landed close by. Lorne was heading their way. He looked pissed and agitated when the bulkhead door lowered.

"The village leader says they're coming for their ships and our Jumpers," he informed them. "We need to be airborne before they get here."

"Then why did you tell me to come back here?!" Teldy shouted.

"Because you're now officially on another mission."

"What? Stackhouse is on his way here, too!"

"I'll be heading up soon enough and will warn him, I need his help anyway. Look, this situation is no longer your concern," Lorne said as he showed Teldy and her team into the barn.

The place was bedlam. Too many people in such a small space and all too busy to acknowledge the newcomers. Rodney and Teyla were squeezing themselves into bio-suits with the help of already suited up warriors. Others were busy with a tank of water and tubing, welding it into a metal frame. Still others were moving a sleek, white pod towards a spot to the rear of the barn which looked like a bed. Carson Beckett was there, shouting orders at those around him. Teldy moved closer and saw Ronon Dex hunched over and staring at a tablet on the floor which appeared to be hooked up to—

Teldy's blood ran cold when she caught sight of John Sheppard.

" _He's_  now your concern," Lorne said quietly beside her. "I don't have time to explain, the village will be hit soon and we need to be out of here when it is."

"Surely you need my—"

"You won't  _be_  here to help, Anne." His use of her first name brought her attention fully back to Lorne and away from the chaos around her. "You need to get the Colonel off-world and through the gate once Doctor Beckett has finished."

"But —"

"The Colonel's life now depends on your famed piloting skills. Ronon has the gate coordinates, just be ready to head out when they are."

Outside an alarm began to sound, almost like an old air raid siren from Earth, only much louder and piercing. Everyone within the barn momentarily stopped what they were doing to look towards the sound.

"Time's up," Rodney shouted. "Get him in the stasis chamber!"

_to be continued..._


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

John felt no pain. He could tell when someone touched or moved him, but nothing of the gnawing agony he'd experienced before. Whether this was due to Primus or the doctors who busied around him, he wasn't sure, but it was a blessed relief, regardless.

So many people filled his little world now. Other teams had arrived and everyone congregated outside to discuss plans for the upcoming retrieval mission.

While John was in no pain, he sensed himself slipping further from reality. He spent more time in a dreamlike state than awake. Though the doctors filled his failing body with fluids and nutrients, the damage caused by the Goh seemed permanent. Maybe he was too weak when treatment started, or maybe he never stood a chance to survive this encounter. He wasn't sure if anyone noticed his weakening, certain he presented so ill it might be missed by a casual glance. John was aware that Carson continually monitored him and should notice his decline. But it was more than just the failure of his bodily systems, John felt himself diminishing in consciousness. As if his mind was already shutting down ahead of his body's demise. It was such a gradual happening that it was some time before John himself noticed it. First, it was the inability to stay conscious for long periods of time. Then, once Primus connected him to the synaptic interface, it became the inability to focus even on that. Maybe this was what death was, a gradual diminishing of awareness that continued until not one spark of thought remained. He'd been so close to death on many occasions, but this was the first time he'd experienced anything like this.

_Maybe because I really am dying this time,_  he thought.

He wasn't scared to die. He would exist, then he would not. Fear had no place in the mechanism. People feared the unknown, what might become of them once their soul slipped from their dead body. But John was past caring about such notions. He accepted his fate and with this acceptance came a calm that soothed what remained of his conscious self.

_You must fight, John Sheppard._

" _What's the point, Primus. I'm pretty sure I'm past the point of no return."_

_Not quite yet._

" _Why do you care?"_

_Because you do._

It took John a second to understand what Primus meant.

" _It was the right thing to do."_

_Perhaps,_  Primus replied.  _You chose to use your last words with your loved ones to save my people. Therefore, saving you is the right thing to do._

" _Why? Even if you do, I'll never be the same again. I'll never fully recover from this."_

_I believe you could if you hold on a little longer._

Exhausted, John thought no more and drifted off into his peaceful place once more.

He snapped back into reality when he felt hands on his body, followed by the unnerving sensation of being lifted into the air.

_It is time, Sheppard._

" _Time for what?"_

_Time to go home._

The hands holding him gently lowered him onto a soft surface. Something was placed over his face, a mask for oxygen, he surmised. The surface beneath him began to expand, covering his body softly while molding to his shape. He panicked slightly as it covered his face, even though the mask administered oxygen. Had Primus not soothed him, John might have attempted to struggle and cry out, but Primus calmed his weak stirrings and agitated thoughts. Then the substance thickened until it held him secure in a spongy cocoon and John finally understood what was happening.

He must be in the stasis pod Rodney had told him about. This meant they were ready to move him to the Goh planet, ready to take him to the seas of the Goh and attempt to save him.

John thought the act was futile. How water could possibly heal him was beyond him. The very idea was lunacy, but none less than any of his own infamously hairbrained and desperate ideas.

_Not lunacy, Sheppard. There is as much desire to save you within them, as there is within you and me to save my kin. That is not lunacy, Sheppard, it is love._

John went to scoff at the suggestion, but Primus was right. He'd seen and heard the desperation in Rodney's voice, he'd seen the tears in Teyla's eyes and the fury in Ronon's expression to know why they fought so hard to save him. John knew exactly why they were taking the risk to visit an alien planet and plunge him in the depths of its seas.

They were a family. He was part of that family. Losing him would hurt them as much as it would if he lost any of them. He'd once tried to explain to Teyla that he would go to the ends of the world for her and the others. He was never able to fully articulate what he wanted to say, but he got the message across, somehow. That same sentiment resided in each of them, so their actions were dictated every bit by the same love he felt for them.

" _I guess I can hold on a little longer,"_ he said.

_McKay says they are about to activate the pod._

" _Alright, time to get the party started."_

_Party?_

" _Never mind. What else is McKay saying?"_

_He asks whether you wish to be awakened if the plan fails._

John's heart stalled at the words. He knew Rodney wasn't asking if he wished to face death with his mind fully aware. He was asking if John wished to say goodbye should the worst happen. He wasn't sure how to reply. Would it be harder saying goodbye now, or later? Later, he was sure. By then they would all be in mourning anyway and he wasn't sure he wished to be around to see it.

" _Tell him… tell him no. Tell him…"_

_Yes?_

" _Tell them_ all,  _thanks for trying. Thanks for being there. Thanks for being my family."_

Primus said nothing in reply. For a moment John wondered if the creature had heard his thoughts then his mind was filled with words as Primus directly connected him to the synaptic interface, one last time, with the added bonus of actually hearing their voices through the tablet mic.

" _We love you too, John. We have not given up hope yet. If we can save you, we will,"_ Teyla said with the soft and confident tones which had often brought him peace through the years.

" _You changed my life. Should the worst happen, I will never forget you,"_ Ronon's gruff voice said. A rare and honest admission from the big guy. In his voice, John could hear the sorrow, which made his heartache.

There was a pause before the next stream of words.

" _I know this is your way of saying goodbye, but I like to think it's a little premature."_ John could hear Rodney trying to be calm and confident, but his voice wavered ever so slightly, betraying his true emotions. " _Since this is what it is, I have to say thank you. For making me who I am, for believing in me, for giving me a family and for being a better brother to me than I ever was to Jeannie. I will not give up, John. You're not dead yet."_

John never thought he'd hear their voices again, so to hear them now made his next journey so much more difficult. He was leaving them, possibly forever. Their words would follow him until the end, and whatever the outcome of this final journey was, John was thankful to have enjoyed this final interaction with his team.

"See you on the other side, then," he replied to them.

There was a faint tingling sensation which spread from the base of his skull to the rest of his body. It became uncomfortable just before a second sensation radiated from the same spot. A soothing coolness fell over him until he was numb all over.

John Sheppard's mind shutdown as his body entered stasis. Whatever happened to him next, was in the hands of his family.

_To be continued..._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

As the hatch whirred closed at his back, Rodney suffered a moment of sheer panic. The bio-suit was a tight fit. The inside was moulded to hold him secure within the contraption. He felt trapped, while claustrophobia clawed at all of his senses. In the small space, he heard his own breathing louden as it sped up to a hyperventilation fit, so much so that the tiny window before his face fogged rapidly. Although he wasn't yet connected to the interface, the bio-suit responded to each movement he made. Its arms ticked up and down, the legs moved erratically and Rodney was sure it looked as if its knees were shaking like some cartoon robot whose circuitry had gone haywire.

He tried to focus, tried to talk himself out of the swelling panic, and face the job at hand. Orna was behind him in her own suit, making sure the hatch was secure and testing the systems against her own. She didn't say a word about his agitated dance though she surely saw it. However, Teyla, who halted donning her own bio-suit, did say something.

"Take deep steady breaths, Rodney. Try to calm your mind."

"Ca...calm my mind?! I'm-I'm-I'm stuck inside a tin can, about to take on  _animals_  I don't even understand and who will no doubt eviscerate me as soon as they get close! Yes, of course, I'll calm down! Just… give me a minute!"

Teyla just eyed him through the small window, the epitome of patience and calm. He watched her as she breathed in slowly and exhaled slowly, and copied her until his lungs no longer felt intent on suffocating him.

"Okay… I can do this…"

"Yes, you can. Just think of it as a second skin, no more, no less."

"A second skin… no more… no less…" He repeated this over and over as he followed her guided breathing.

After a few moments, Rodney felt calmer. The erratic movements of the suit halted as he gained control of his fear. Though the small window was still fogged, he could see Teyla smiling as she stepped away to get into her own suit.

Orna completed her checks and came to stand before him. She stared out of her little window and grinned.

"Next part will be a bit strange," she said. "You'll become part of the system in a few seconds. You'll sense a buzzing in your mind as the synaptic interface connects. Just breathe through it, the sensation passes quickly."

No sooner has she said the words than Rodney felt the interface connect. A sharp jab near the base of his skull made him flinch and he almost cried out. She hadn't mentioned that this would happen. Probably so he didn't panic more than he had already. The buzzing disorientated him. It was so intense he could barely think, his thoughts scrambled six ways to hell. Then, abruptly, it stopped.

It was a strange feeling, being part of a machine.

A HUD appeared, floating just above his right eye. It detailed suit integrity, weapons data, and showed a detailed 3D map of the area. On the map were white dots that represented the people around him. There were other dots, far in the distance, marked in red. Undoubtedly these were the Groten that hurried their way, though, according to the map, were still at least a mile away. Now that he'd gotten used to it, Rodney realised how remarkably comfortable the suit was. He grinned as he flexed his left hand and the suit clamped its three-fingered mechanical hand before him.

"Now we're talking!" he said gleefully.

A movement to his side caught his attention and Rodney watched as Major Teldy's team carried the stasis pod holding John from the barn. He watched until they disappeared outside and Ronon stepped in front of him.

"Keep your wits about you. Eyes on the target at all times. Remember what I taught you and you'll be fine."

Rodney nodded, which resulted in the bio-suit bobbing up and down.

"I remember you kicked my ass during my training, not sure what I actually learned from that other than the fact I'm useless at fighting with sticks."

Ronon grinned. "You got better, even with sticks."

It was the Satedan's way of telling him to take care and come back alive. Rodney appreciated the sentiment.

"Thanks," he said as Ronon walked to Teyla. "You take care, too."

Ronon merely nodded and continued walking, no doubt feeling his usual awkwardness at shows of any type of affection.

Rodney walked outside, flexing his hands and testing control over the bio-suit. It really did feel like a second skin, and he marveled at the ingenuity behind such a creation. Suits such as these would definitely come in handy back on Atlantis. Perhaps he would work on one if he survived today.

Ronon was the last to enter the Jumper and the bulkhead door closed behind him. Teyla came to a stop by Rodney's side. They both watched the Jumper take off and stared at the sky long after it had disappeared.

"Do you think it will work?" Rodney asked quietly.

"I have no doubt that everyone on that ship, including Primus, will do their very best to ensure it works," Teyla replied. "So we must ensure we save the Goh in return. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Rodney replied with a sigh.

Lorne and Stackhouse's teams headed to their Jumpers, and soon, both ships hovered a few yards from the ground. The alarm continued to sound around the village. Rodney had got so used to the sound that he barely acknowledged it. But he noted a sudden change to its tone and saw the Caronaa warriors tense in their suits.

"They are here," Orna said as she stepped up beside them.

The warriors at the treeline began to fire into the trees, as did the two PuddleJumpers. Rodney could hear angry snarls and howls as their weapons hit targets not yet visible. Then, dark, fast-moving missiles blasted out from the trees, all soaring high and far into the village. People were screaming as they fled deeper into the village and Goh were uselessly slaughtered in the first barrage. Every suited warrior headed to the treeline, Rodney and Teyla included. Soon the Groten burst from the forest, howling with anger and determined to take down anything in their path. It was frightening running towards such fury. Rodney questioned his own sanity as he raised his arm to fire upon the strange creatures that twisted and morphed to avoid all fire. The Groten were larger than he remembered. Huge furry beasts with strange anatomical build and teeth longer than a human hand. They fired their weapons at the warriors, spraying them with black sludge with living Goh within. Rodney couldn't guess at what was going through the minds of those tiny creatures as they were shot from the confines of the Groten weapons. Did they know the people they were aimed at wished to save them? Would they halt their instinct to burrow and consume if they had any idea they were being fired at their saviors? Rodney wished he had asked Primus if there was a way to communicate this to its kind to establish this very fact. Perhaps then, the Groten weapons would be all but useless, the Goh becoming inert upon firing. Then again, it would matter little, for as soon as the Groten acknowledged the impotence of their ammunition, they would simply use their bodies to do the dirty work.

Rodney watched one of the bio-suits fall. He saw a Goh smash through the little window in the helmet area and on into the face of the warrior within. He nearly vomited at the sight but seeing it only made him realise that only they could stop the Groten. The Goh were only doing what instinct dictated and would continue to do so as long as they were aimed at living beings.

Rodney roared and ran forward toward the Groten whose lucky shot had taken down the warrior.

"I can do this," he said to himself. "I am a warrior. I am—"

The beast looked his way, snarled and launched itself at him.

"...I am  _so_  dead…"

Rodney fired all of his weapons, striking the creature over and over, hoping it was enough to stop the thing from reaching him. But he hoped in vain. The Groten was upon him in seconds, ripping at his suit with claws and teeth as he screamed and twisted beneath it. Rodney used everything at his disposal to injure the Groten. The huge mechanical hands pulled at limbs until they snapped. The Groten howled with pain but didn't stop the attack. Its mouth snapped inches from Rodney's face, one tooth gouging at the tiny window he looked out of. The window cracked but didn't give, though his vision through it would be impaired by the damage.

Rodney wasn't scared, though. He was angry. And he poured all of that furious resentment into a punishing assault. He punched and pulled, twisted and slammed with arms and legs until he gained the upper hand. He grabbed hold of the Groten's shoulders and twisted hard until he sat upon the creature. He raised his hands and the mechanical arms and his mind blanked as he thought about John. In his mind, all he saw was the agony his friend had suffered. He remembered John struggling to breathe, struggling to stay alive. He recalled John's fight to survive dwindle as his body withered away. Rodney saw also the Goh he himself had pulled from John's body, dying by his hands as he pummeled them to death. Victims as much as any, and killed by his ignorance. He was so blinded by those memories and his own burning rage that he failed to register the Groten was dead until another warrior pulled him from the body.

"It's dead! Move on!" the warrior shouted as it lunged towards another, living Groten.

Rodney looked down at what he had done, lost in a moment of denial. The Groten's head was little more than pulp. Its chest was torn open, a mass of splintered bone and blood. Rodney looked to the bio-suit's hands and saw them curled up and bloodied.

He had done this. He had killed this intelligent and deadly creature. Maybe once upon a time this would have made him ill and cause him to question his morals, but not today. Right at that moment, Rodney realised that he had what it took to protect himself and his friends. He wasn't just the scientist anymore. He was every bit the warrior the rest of the team were.  
Rodney McKay turned from the dead Groten and eyed up his next target, even as his mind churned through multiple ideas of how to save the remaining Goh.

_To be continued..._


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, everyone. My laptop blew and I nearly lost the manuscripts for my books and fics and such. Took me a few days to get everything onto the new laptop! It was rather stressful! GAH! But, I have everything now as well as the rest of Terminal Trivialities :D I hope you're still enjoying the story!

__

* * *

Chapter 22

Ronon had a pounding headache. His broken arm was aching. The wounds to his chest burned and itched, and yet he sat there stoically, never saying a word about his discomfort. Instead, he kept a stony expression to ward off all queries about his well being, so he didn't have to acknowledge the fact he felt like he'd been hit by a PuddleJumper.

Inside AR-3's Jumper, tensions were running high and this didn't help his mood. What with Caran's moaning about the ships condition and Mehra's irritation at the extra bodies in the cramped space, Ronon's temper was close to breaking point.

Mehra had a point, though. The stasis pod took up a large area and those in the rear of the Jumper had to sit awkwardly during the flight. To make matters worse, there was also an argument in progress that Ronon listened to with irritation if only to take his mind off his pain.

"But Doctor McKay said we should immediately take the Jumper into the sea and extend the ship's shields to allow us to deposit Colonel Sheppard in the water as soon as possible," Caran said as they approached the Stargate in Caronaa's upper atmosphere.

"I know what Doctor McKay said, but until I  _see_  the sea and can assess any potential dangers, I will not be diving right in on the say of a scientist who has never been on the planet," Teldy replied annoyed.

"It's actually more of a moon," Caran pointed out somewhat petulantly.

"Primus said unless you stay near land, there would be no danger," Nara offered.

"And has Primus flown a Jumper before?" Teldy listened to silence before continuing. "I'll take that as a no. Look, so far as command goes, I'm in charge of this mission. I will say what we do and where we go once I've seen the place for myself. Would you expect anything different from the Colonel if he was in my seat?"

No one replied.

"I thought not. According to the data provided by Sama, it will be a five-minute jaunt once we exit the gate. That will give me plenty of time to assess the area."

Ronon rolled his eyes. Earth military were so cautious it infuriated him. If there was a threat there it wouldn't matter how careful Teldy flew or how hard she stared out the window, it would hit them just the same and they would deal with it. At least John had mellowed in this respect over the years; he was almost on Ronon's wavelength, though not quite. There remained a small measure of reserve within Sheppard that Ronon had to admire. It had, after all, saved them from disaster on several outings.

Opposite him, Rella caught his attention when she moved to obtain readings from the stasis pod.

"What's the cube for?" he asked, pointing at the contraption the Caronaa people had welded together.

"It's a tank, which we will fill with water from the sea, to allow Primus and its kind to exit John's body," The doctor replied inattentively.

"Can't you just allow them to release into the sea directly?"

She shook her head. "In order to do that we would have to open the valve in the Colonel's artery then place him in the water which could end in disaster. The valve will have to be closely monitored during the Goh release so that the Colonel doesn't bleed out, and we can only do that while he remains within the ship's shield. It would save vital seconds should the worst happen."

Ronon shivered at the words and he felt the inexplicable urge to lay his hand on the stasis pod and leaned forward to do so. Beneath his fingers, he felt the cool metal of the pod. It vibrated slightly, the mechanics inside working silently away. Within that pod was the man who had gained Ronon's trust, helped him stop running, gave him a family, and a place of belonging that he'd missed for so many years.

There was very little he wouldn't do for John. Sure, they had their fair share of arguments, but who didn't argue, especially when in heated situations like they so often found themselves?

John Sheppard wasn't like other men Ronon knew or had known. He was patient, caring and loyal to a fault. There was a time Ronon had tested that loyalty to the extreme, a time which now only filled him with guilt. Faced with the decision of choosing Atlantis or his long lost Satedan friends, Ronon had chosen badly and gone with what turned out to be traitorous scum. He'd been quite ready to leave his Lantean family behind, even though he knew his decision had wounded Sheppard. He'd seen the disappointment and hurt in his eyes when he'd told John he was leaving. When he realised his error and faced him again, John had not thrown his misjudgment in his face. He spoke nothing of Ronon's betrayal, though it was evident that's what John felt it had been at the time. He was welcomed back to the city and the team as if nothing had happened. Because that was just how Sheppard was. He held no grudges against those he loved. In fact, John went above and beyond when it came to family, friends, and even mere acquaintances.

The selfless lengths John Sheppard would go to in order to save others were so incredible as to be at times alarming, not to mention, suicidal. Driven by a horrific defining moment in his past, John felt he had a duty of care and protection to all he met, and much more besides to those he thought of as family.

Sheppard had once scaled the exterior of an Atlantis city spire in order to save the people within. He'd thrown himself into an active biohazard area, breaking umpteen rules in the process while going against Elizabeth Weir, no small action considering how close both had once been. Sheppard had faced death-by-Wraith with enough conviction to order them to let him die rather than give in to Kolya and his demands. He'd even taken on a fetal Hiveship by smashing a Jumper into the side of Atlantis in order to save Dr Keller, enduring a serious stomach wound as a result. These actions were nothing compared to what he'd done for Ronon, for Teyla, and for Rodney. Hell, he'd had a building collapse on top of him, wounding him so badly he required some serious surgery to fix him, and put said surgery off in order to rescue Teyla from Michael. The man was insane if not devoted.

This was why Ronon was convinced that what they were doing was, as Sheppard himself so often said, the right thing to do. The plan was crazy. There were no guarantees. But knowing the extremes Sheppard went to for others, with so little regard for himself, this jaunt to the Goh homeworld was simple recompense for all of his selfless acts.

"Fifteen seconds until ingress," Teldy announced from the cockpit, breaking Ronon from his thoughts.

He hurried to tap the information into the tablet. The Goh were surprisingly unaffected by the stasis pod and Primus acknowledged the news it was nearing home with a word of thanks and one Ronon was unable to understand. Perhaps it was an exclamation of some sort, though he didn't really care.

The Jumper then entered the gate in Caronaa's upper atmosphere only to burst through the Goh planet's gate and into a whole new world.

All in the Jumper headed to the cockpit to catch their first glance of Ignothia. It was unexpectedly beautiful. Ronon had wrongly assumed the place would be a dark and watery world, yet the scenes before them were breathtaking. Purple mountains stretched high into an azure blue sky as if reaching for the bright sun that beat down upon them. A jungle of thin trees with yellow bark grew so tall as to dwarf the Redwoods of Earth. The Jumper flew over herds of animals never seen by human eyes before. There were two-legged beasts, almost like Earth's bison but with bright orange pelts. Tall, four-legged animals chomped on bizarre plant-life, crimson manes flowing from their wide, angular heads. The jumper followed the path of a mighty mass of water that snaked through the mountainous landscape which stretched as far as the eye could see. The picturesque view was enough for each of them to comment on, but it was Rella who pinpointed the place's beauty.

"Carson would love this," she said breathlessly. "It looks so like how he describes the northern reaches of his homeland."

"Scotland," Ronon said. "Been there. This place isn't a patch on it."

"Then I must see Scotland one day because this is quite stunning!"

"Looks like Doctor McKay was right," Mehra said. "This seems more like a river than a sea."

"As deep as an ocean, though," Nara countered. "I'm measuring depths of three kilometers and more."

Teldy kept the Jumper over the water, mindful of Primus' recommendation. When there appeared to be no security issues, she took the Jumper to the location Primus had given them. Teldy lowered the Jumper steadily until the ship slipped beneath the clear and calm water and into a world just as stunning as the one above. Instead of mountains, there were deep valleys in the river floor. The water graduated from crystal transparency to a deep and dark blue so clean and clear it seemed almost sterile. But there were many unidentifiable denizens in this watery world. They came in all sorts of bright colours and an assortment of sizes and shapes. Some followed the Jumper for a while until a particularly large specimen scared them off. Ronon whistled softly as they all watched the gargantuan creature swim on past without as much as an acknowledgment of the Jumper.

They went deeper into darker water, so far in that light had trouble penetrating the depths. They passed a fissure which appeared endlessly deep, where strange lights glowed and darted around. Teldy slowed the Jumper to a stop near this darkened area and set the ship down on the sandy bottom.

"We're here," Teldy informed them, gazing out at the darkness.

"I guess it's time to put Primus' plan in motion," Rella said, and then everyone was moving to get John and the Goh into the water.

Whatever happened, Ronon could always say they did their damndest to save Sheppard.

)0(

_Above the water, behind one of the mountains, a red mottled ship sat hidden away from any prying eyes that might exit the gate. A fury of guttural snarls and growls filled the cockpit as the Groten watching a screen saw the gate had been activated._

_("Gate activation. Ship on Ignothia. Are our brethren returning?")_

_("The war is not over. None are any due to return and very little of the Goh remain for harvesting.")_

_("We should investigate. Perhaps the population has recovered and our brethren can be told to replenish the ammunition stores.")_

_The lead Groten growled lowly in assent. It looked to the screen with its one good eye; the other blinded and scarred from war. ("Take us to the depths.") It commanded._

_To be continued..._


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

A soft, shocked gasp left Teyla's throat as she watched Rodney fall heavily to the ground. The Groten that slashed at his bio-suit roared as a Caronaa warrior fired their weapons towards it, striking its hide with burning blasts. Unwilling to leave its prey, the beast threw itself upon Rodney's suit and continued its frenzied attack. Teyla ran towards him, all weapons firing at the Groten while being mindful not to hit Rodney. As she closed in, the Groten finally succumbed to its injuries and slipped from the bio-suit to reveal the damage it had wrought upon her friend.

She saw the blood first, bright red against the blue metal of the broken suit and far more than she wished to see. The upper part of the suit had been torn away and Rodney lay unprotected and injured in what remained. His face twisted in agony as he heaved in panicked breaths and his eyes rolled back in their sockets. Teyla could hear his frantic breathing and gasps of pain and wished only to be free of her suit to help him.

Teyla sped through the suit commands until the rear hatch opened. She cut the synaptic connections and grimaced as white noise exploded in her head. Disoriented, she staggered from within the suit and towards Rodney, then dropped by his side. She called his name, but he was either unable to reply or hadn't heard her above the din of the surrounding battle. Teyla assessed his condition as best she could, swallowing down the panic that rose within her.

Rodney's left arm was still inside the suit and twisted above his head. It seemed likely that the arm was dislocated if not broken. His face was unmarked but his chest was a mass of slashed cloth, torn flesh and seeping blood. Lodged in his right shoulder was a long and broken tooth, inches deep into his flesh. Rodney's body shook uncontrollably and Teyla worriedly searched for Goh impact but found none. She realised the shaking was probably due to shock. Rodney required urgent medical attention. Teyla looked around the area and quickly realised there wasn't much she could do for him.

The battle raged on around them both. Groten and warriors raged against each other as they stumbled over broken suits and fallen comrades. The air was filled with the sounds and smells of war; and in the air, the Jumpers and Caronaa ships fired down into the area with a ferocious and unforgiving assault. Though it often appeared the Groten numbers were thinning and the tide was turning in their favour, more Groten would arrive from the forest to take the place of the fallen. Some of the creatures made it through the battle and into the village, but there were no ships waiting for them. In their frustration, they ripped the village apart and slaughtered any person unlucky enough to remain unprotected.

"T-T-Teyla?"

She saw Rodney's ashen face turned towards her, his bloodshot eyes gazing at her through a haze of pain.

"Hold on, Rodney, help will come soon."

"I... I did alright, didn't I?"

"You did great, Rodney," Teyla replied, wincing at the words she'd heard John use so many times.

"I took... down a few..." he said and began rambling, most likely to mask his pain, but Teyla was not fooled. "I made a difference, yes?"

"Yes, you did very well. And you will live to tell others of the same. You just have to hold on."

Rodney's eyes fluttered closed and he moaned pitifully. His free hand reached and tightened painfully over hers. "Oh god, it hurts... Teyla!"

She was about to offer him some comforting words when Teyla felt something impact her stomach.

_Oh, sweet Ancestors no!_

She went rigid, trying not to let Rodney know anything had happened. She felt warmth flood down her front as the Goh bit deep into her skin. She gasped sharply as it punctured through and began its burrowing and Teyla knew she now faced the same excruciating pain John did.

Rodney groaned and let go of her hand, his breathing becoming rapid and uneven. It took the focus from her pain and again she swept the area for help. To her left, Teyla saw Orna running towards her, and she ground her teeth against the pain as she tried to compose herself. The Goh squirmed in her gut and Teyla waited anxiously for the electrical storm that Rodney and John had told her would come.

Only it didn't.

Orna came to a stop by Rodney's side and fired her weapons at a Groten who fancied a sneak attack, its head exploding in a cloud of black blood and ichor.

"I've called one of our ships to come and retrieve you," she said, "but it can only take one of you at a time."

"Rodney is in greater need than I. Make sure he is taken first."

As the sleek white ship came to hover above them, Teyla grunted in pain as the Goh squirmed within her. Orna eyed her suspiciously when she clenched her hand over her stomach. Even through the window of the suit, Teyla could see Orna's eyes widening in understanding. She was about to say something when Teyla threw her a firm glare and said, "I am fine. Rodney is not. Please ensure he is taken to safety first."

Whether it was the stern look or the bite to her voice, Orna nodded and communicated with the ship as it landed behind them. Orna took up a protective stance and fired at any creature who dared to try for the ship or the injured duo. Within moments Teyla watched Rodney disappear into the rear of the craft. The hatch closed, and the ship and her friend were gone.

Teyla drew a sharp gasp of breath as the Goh moved within her. Whatever it was waiting on, it had yet to stun and immobilize her. She drew her hand from her stomach and saw the blood that drenched her fingers and prayed that she would survive this encounter long enough to see John and Rodney saved. She wished Ronon was there to carry her to safety, for she no longer had the strength to stand. In a moment of dizziness, Teyla fell slowly backward as Orna roared by her side and fired relentlessly into the forest.

All that Teyla saw above her were missiles, smoke, and debris. Occasionally one of the ships would fly over, and Teyla wished she was on one. As she lay there, she thought about the Goh that had invaded her body. If she could communicate with it as John had with Primus, perhaps she could explain the situation and prevent more harm to them both. Without it connecting to her mind, this was impossible, and Teyla wondered why it acted so differently to Primus. Perhaps it was injured, or too ill to do as Primus had, which might explain the lack of electrical punishment as seen with previous Goh encounters.

But Teyla was determined to try and communicate with this entity. She thought about the suits and their synaptic interface, thought about the wraith DNA in her genetic makeup. Neither could help her now, but surely the mechanics were not so different? After all, John and Primus could communicate well once the connection was made. She tried to sense the being within her, using the same techniques she used on Wraith. At first, she sensed nothing and her frustration brought tears to her eyes. She might die here; they all might. She tried until her mind tired and she felt her energy dissipate.

Just as she was about to give up, a connection was made. Initiated by the Goh itself, the mind that brushed against hers was neither weak nor ill. It was powerful, more so than any Wraith or Queen. She felt it rifle through her mind and read her thoughts. She sensed a mind so ancient that Teyla could not help but gasp at the magnitude of its presence.

_I am Eldus._

The thought was gentle yet filled with authority.

"My name is Teyla, we have come to help you."

_I sensed as much from my connection, Teyla Emmagan, daughter of Tagan._

_We have been connected since I first entered your body._

This Goh was far different from Primus. Within moments of impact it had managed to read everything about her from her mind, leaving her panting and quite honestly terrified. If this Goh was so strong and powerful, what might it do to her should they disagree?

_I will do nothing._

_I am not a monster, Teyla. I'm a leader. And as such, I require knowing my allies from my foes._

_Now tell me. How is it that you intend to save forty-thousand Goh?_

_To be continued..._


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Rella pressed a few buttons on the stasis pod and halted its functions in order to facilitate the purging of the Goh from John's system. Ronon looked down on his friend with sorrow as it already looked as if Sheppard had left for the happy hunting grounds of the afterlife. His skin was waxen and taught. What colour remained was confined to his injuries, the rest was as white as the pod interior. John's brow was creased as if deep in thought, but he was not thinking about anything. He had long succumbed to his injuries and slipped into a coma.

It was all Ronon could do to keep himself together. He'd seen death before, lost many to war and the Wraith. But this was different. This was up close and personal and took Ronon far from his comfort zone to watch the slow death John endured.

Rella and Nara moved the tank for the Goh closer to the pod. It had already been filled with water from the river and Rella pulled one of its connected tubes and proceeded to push the one-way valve and wide-bore cannula into John's arm. The Goh began exiting John's blood almost as soon as Ronon informed Primus that everything was in place. He watched the small creatures flowing from the valve, their squashed bodies plumping once inside the tank. The more that entered the tank, the redder the water became and Ronon looked to Rella with alarm. Rella reassured him that it was residual blood on the Goh's bodies, and not that John was about to bleed out.

Primus continued to converse during the letting. It had commanded the infants to be careful as they travelled John's vessels to the one that would give them freedom. They didn't burst from the valve in a flood, nor gush into it in spurts of many. The infant Goh left his body one at a time, though in a rapid fashion. Time was of the essence, and all present knew it.

As the Goh continued their migration, Caran checked over the modifications that Rodney had made to the stasis pod. It was a simple enough mechanism that, once triggered, would open the pod to the waters once placed outside the shield. It had been fitted with a field modulator that would allow them to push it through the PuddleJumper's shield and into the water without damage or injury to its inhabitant. Primus assured them that the Goh's own natural electrical field would be enough to save them from harm and so the tank, also fitted with a release mechanism, would be pushed into the sea at the same time as the pod.

Ronon kept watching the tablet and interface in case Primus flagged up any concerns. He concentrated so hard his headache only worsened and his leaning posture did nothing to alleviate the other pains in his body. His discomfort must finally have shown on his face, as while AR-3 readied the Jumper and themselves for the next part of the operation, Rella touched his arm gently.

"I think it's time for you to finally admit you're in pain."

He shrugged and looked back to the tablet. "Pain won't kill me," he muttered.

"Perhaps, but it will affect your thought processes and drain your energy. I have painkillers, here," she pushed her hands into the med bag at her feet.

"No, thanks. I need my head clear, not sedated."

"I assure you these have no sedative effect. And anyway, Carson trusted me with all of your well-beings, not just the Colonel's."

Ronon sighed and reached out his hand to take the offered medication; two yellow, oblong tablets which he swallowed dry.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Primus was now quiet, no doubt readying itself for its own journey from John's body. It suddenly struck Ronon that he didn't know how that would happen.

"Wait, how will Primus get out? It isn't in Sheppard's blood."

Rella smiled softly. "No, it isn't. Carson, Primus and I already discussed it."

Ronon wasn't quite sure what she meant until she tapped her medical bag.

Ronon frowned. "You're gonna cut it out of him?"

"Not exactly. Primus would not fit inside a blood vessel without rupturing it and causing extensive and possibly fatal damage. It will be easier to cut an opening in the Colonel's back prior to them both entering the water."

"Won't that cause him to bleed out?"

"I will make a small incision on the Colonel's back near his shoulder shortly before we close the pod again. Once the tank is in the water and opened, Primus will use this incision to exit the body and simply enter the water that will flood the stasis pod."

Ronon didn't think there was anything simple about it. Once that pod was open, the only thing stopping John from drowning would be the breathing apparatus that Rella was now attaching firmly to his face. The oxygen tank was of Caronaa manufacture and promised to provide Sheppard with over thirty hours of oxygen. But, any cuts or injuries would be open to the water and any infection or toxins the water might contain could kill him as surely as drowning.

As if reading his mind, Rella said, "Primus has assured us that it will firstly attempt to heal all wounds once in the water. After that, well, I'm as anxious as you are to see what happens next."

"You mean you don't know?"

Rella shook her head. "Primus has remained rather enigmatic about the finer points."

"And still you are happy to allow it to take Sheppard?"

"What choice do we have?" Rella shrugged. "You know there is no saving your friend by any conventional means? What Primus is offering is something we do not understand, but it's the only course of action we can take that has any chance of survival, no matter how slim on facts it may be."

Ronon was furious but could see no other way. They were here now, and Primus was their only hope in saving John. He scowled at the tank filling with tiny infant Goh. As the infants continued to flow, Ronon made a silent vow to destroy them all if this was nothing but a ploy to get home with no care for Sheppard's survival. Even though he was angry, Ronon knew he was overthinking it all. He'd spoken with Primus and while it was electronic communication, he got the sense the creature meant everything it said. There was no reason not to believe it. Still, making the vow went some way to quench his anger at the situation.

The tablet flashed as Primus informed them that the last of the infants had left John's body. Rella removed the cannula and valve then placed a covering over the wound and pressed it tight. She motioned for Ronon to come closer, asked him to pull John onto his side then reached for her scalpel. Even with one arm, Ronon was able to do this without a problem. His stomach churned as he felt how light and corpse-like John felt. John was even cold to the touch, increasing the impression that he had already passed on. Once the incision was made, he gently settled John back in and the stasis pod closed.

Caran modified the Jumper shield to expand some meters from the hull of the ship then Teldy proceeded to open the bulkhead door. The Jumper was suddenly filled with a salty and clean scent, with just a hint of mustiness. Droplets of water dripped from the ship's exterior to wet the Jumper ramp in a steady beat. Outside, the river bed was wet and some pooling remained, yet Ronon could see the river held firmly behind the shield which shimmered with the rippling water. Through it, he saw some of the colourful inhabitants swim by. His eyes were drawn to the ominous-looking dark spot which marred the area and the source of the enigmatic lights which even now darted around in the darkness. He only hoped that whatever lurked in there would stay away from them.

Unable to do anything but watch the proceedings, Ronon stood to the side and made room to allow the manoeuvering of the stasis pod down the ramp and to the edge of the shield. Caran brought the tank filled with the baby Goh and set it down beside the pod then carried out final checks. When she was satisfied all was right, she nodded to the others who then raised the pod and pushed it through the shield to drift outside in the deep blue. The tank followed next and Caran clicked on her tablet once both were a suitable distance from the shield.

As he watched the mechanisms unfold to open both containers, Ronon's gut clenched and he couldn't suppress the shudder that tingled up his spine. It felt like he was saying a final farewell as the stasis pod opened and John's inert body floated out into the water followed by the umbilical and then the oxygen tank. It almost looked like a macabre space burial, minus coffin, or wreath. A small streak of red showed the incision site continued to bleed and Ronon hoped there were no predators around to smell it.

Then he saw Primus.

The little black creature swam out from behind John and quickly darted through the water as if with joy. It then swam behind John again and disappeared from view. Seconds passed and Ronon noted that the streak of blood diminished then finally stopped.

At least it was truthful about that, he thought.

With a surprising burst of speed Primus joined the shoal of infant Goh. For some minutes they darted and danced in the water, an obvious display of joy at their freedom. Then Primus approached the shield. It looked in on them, dipped its body as if in a bow, then disappeared into the darkness. Ronon almost cried out as the infant Goh followed and they all disappeared to the darkened area of darting lights.

With her eyes still looking out on the darkness, Rella reached to place a steadying hand on Ronon's arm. "Just wait," she whispered, eyes wide and searching.

Then tiny dots of light came rushing forward from the darkness. Hundreds of mature Goh flooded the area, their sleek black bodies moving in a blur. They flashed through the water in a shoal of blackness through which bright lights flashed making it look like a cloud full of lighting. Clearly the Goh were not as diminished in numbers as the Groten believed.

They surrounded John's lifeless body, each one taking up a place on his being until he was obscured by their little bodies. All Ronon could see of him was a tuft of black hair, but he didn't panic. His earlier doubts gone, Ronon knew he was watching the attempt to save his friend. Knew without a doubt that all able Goh had been called upon to help, and that Primus had called them. They moved in unison and pulled John towards the darkened area, followed by the trailing oxygen tank. They all soon disappeared into the cavern taking John with them, leaving Ronon and the others to stare at the now empty opening.

"How long do we wait?" Nara asked.

"Primus said we should go back to Caronaa and return in a day. He will update us then."

As they made their way back to the Jumper, creeping darkness played across the water above them. Ronon looked up in time to see the shape of a massive craft pass overhead, big enough to cast a shadow that momentarily plunged them into darkness.

"Get back in the ship," he growled. "We've got company."

To be continued...


	25. chapter 25

**Dear all, sorry for the lack of uploading, but I seem to have misplaced all of the remaining chapters. I found this one uploaded to Google docs, but the rest of the chapters are missing! I'll look for them over the next few days, but if I don't find them, I'll need to rewrite them. I hope I find them, as I don't have the time to rewrite what with the festive season upon us! Fingers crossed!**

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Chapter 25

The battle raged on and Teyla lay in the middle of it all, her mind barely registering the noise and death around her. Her eyes were closed as she focused on Eldus and what it was saying. It was very different from Primus. Unlike what John said he'd experienced, she was in much pain and very aware of what was happening to her. She could move of her own volition if she wanted, and her thoughts were only addled by her pain and increasing lethargy.

Though it had riffled through her mind to determine if she was friend or foe, Eldus preferred open communication for the rest of their conversation. It seemed that reading the information drained Eldus and it appeared to have no wish to take nourishment from her body.

 _Why do you want to save us?_ Eldus asked.

"We have encountered one of your own called Primus. It currently resides within one of my friends and informed us of your plight."

_You met a Primus?_

_So few Primus remain we thought ourselves finally lost. I know of only two others still alive._

"This Primus is very much alive, as are its kin within my friend, John. It was the wish of both Primus and John that we try to save as many of you as we can and return you home."

_Ignothia..._

The word reverberated around Teyla's mind like a whispered sigh containing every emotion known to exist. She gasped at the intensity of it, understanding through that single word the full extent of the Goh suffering. Teyla felt a flash of searing pain run through her as Eldus slowly made its way through her body towards her spine. The pain was excruciating, so much so it rendered her silent with shock. Eldus apologised for not having the mechanics that the Primus held to be able to dull her pain. Teyla just tried to keep breathing for as long as the pain continued and groaned softly when Eldus eventually settled near the base of her skull.

The reason for its travel through her became clear when their minds connected fully and images of the Goh waters filled her mind. Ignothia truly was a beautiful place. Teyla wondered if it was also beautiful on land, though Eldus couldn't show her anything above the water. Accompanying the images was a deep longing to return home and a sadness that left her hollow.

"How long have you been in the Groten tanks?" Teyla asked.

_Far too many generations to count._

_Very few of us remember Ignothia through actual living memory._

_Most only know of it through the shared knowledge._

"You seem very different from Primus," Teyla commented after a moment of silence.

_Primus are the teachers and protectors of our civilization. They disseminate our knowledge to the young so that it endures. Primus are physically different to allow them to do their jobs. For one example, I am unable to affect your bodily functions, therefore unable to either alleviate your pain or use you to escape. I am, for all intents and purposes, a prisoner within you. But, we Eldus have much stronger minds than all other Goh. We are the connection between our people, making us all a unified collective. This means I can convey your intentions to my kin in ways Primus never could. A Primus has a connection to its kin and other Primus, but we Eldus have a connection to all Goh._

"You are more than just their leader," Telya murmured. "You are their history  _and_  their ancestor."

_Yes. I am over three hundred of your years old, and I gained my knowledge from my parent who lived for several hundred years. There were approximately four hundred Eldus on Ignothia. I fear I may be the last._

"The last?"

A feeling of overwhelming grief filled Teyla as she experienced Eldus loss as her own.

_When the Groten first began to harvest, we Eldus were on the front line, trying to protect all others. Many of us died in those first few days, leaving so few that our communication network weakened._

_It is unlikely that we will recover as, unlike all other Goh, I can only birth in the birthing valleys of Ignothia._

_If I fail to reach home, the Eldus line may die out, as will the ability to unify all Goh._

"Then we must save you."

_My presence may kill you._

"As long as you can survive without harming me, we both shall live."

_I will cause you no more harm, though I fear I already caused you enough._

"Worry not. I will be fine. I will attempt to get you back to Ignothia."

_If you can do such a thing, then it would be better to help all of the others and leave me be._

_I ask one thing of you, Teyla Emmagan. Promise to save my species and I will die within you now in peace, and stop your pain._

"You will do no such thing, Eldus. Your people need you to survive if they are to survive themselves. I will be fine. I ask only that you halt your movements and allow me to find help for my wounds."

Eldus said no more and Teyla took it that the creature had gone into hibernation.

Teyla passed out, unable to keep hold of consciousness long enough to find the help she so desperately needed. She wasn't sure how long the blackout lasted, but when awareness returned, Teyla found that day had turned to night. The sounds of battle were gone and only silence remained. She smelled nothing but clean air and vegetation and when she pulled herself into a sitting position, Teyla discovered she no longer lay where she had fallen. Instead, she lay in a clearing within the forest far from the battlefield. A small fire burned warmly to her side by which three large Groten sat, their eyes upon her as she shifted uncomfortably.

Teyla's eyes widened and she searched her body for a weapon, only to remember she had left them behind in order to get inside the biosuit. The beasts eyed her curiously but did not attack. They simply watched her as she tried to measure her breathing and calm her pounding heart. Teyla knew there was nothing she could do to escape these creatures. She'd seen their swiftness, their brutality; she would never survive an attack in her current condition. Unable to fight, barely able to keep herself from crying out in pain, Teyla slowly pushed up from the ground and stood before the three beasts.

They looked no different to any other Groten she had encountered thus far, except for their stillness. They watched her quietly, unmoving, not even a muscle twitch between them. To be so close to them was incredible if not disturbing. They truly were majestic creatures, powerful and rather beautiful when one got the chance to look past their deadly facades.

So far she had only fought with Groten or watched them sicken and die. Her thoughts of them were clouded with ideas of self-preservation and anger at their vicious nature. These ones seemed to be in their prime, huge, healthy specimens that dwarfed her tiny frame. She was under no illusions that any of them could crush her in an instant should she anger them. Her fear was momentarily eclipsed by the pain in her stomach. She looked down to see the blood had not stopped flowing from the impact wound. It had slowed considerably, but what was spilled on her clothes told her that she had no right to be standing. Her energy would eventually fade and she wondered if this was what the three Groten were waiting for, an easy meal to collapse at their feet.

Food without the fight.

Then one of the Groten moved. It slowly pulled itself up to a standing position, uncurling to become a formidable sight that looked down on her and made her quail. Then it spoke.

"Tey-laar... " Its voice was harsh and ground out words that the beast's mouth seemed to have never formed before. "You are safe..."

Teyla just stared at it, not quite sure what to think. Quickly she evaluated the beast and judged by its posture and relaxed musculature that it currently posed no danger, although that could change in an instant.

"Eldus... within you..." it growled lowly. "Eldus explained..."

"You are Groten, how would you know?" Teyla asked warily.

"We sense... Eldus..."

"You are  _Goh?_ "

"Yes, Tey-larr...Goh within, Groten without. Controlling this body is difficult."

"Are... are you another Primus?"

"We two," it pointed to the Groten behind her still sat by the fire, "are the last Primus. Eldus summoned us."

"There is another Primus, we helped save it," Teyla replied.

"Eldus explained."

Teyla nodded. "Where are we?"

"Not far... from Groten ship..."

Panic welled within her. "But, I need to get back to my people. I can help you all, but I need help myself, first."

"Unable to go there..." the large beast growled sadly. "In this size and shape? We would be killed on sight."

The second beast rose to its feet and moved towards her. It raised one giant paw, the claws retracted and Teyla recoiled.

"This is Healer," Primus offered. "Healers are unable to forge connections within a host's mind as we Primus can. Therefore, Healer can not speak with you."

Teyla nodded and forced herself to be still as the beast drew nearer. There was little else she could do. Her body was telling her it was almost out of energy. Healer touched the tip of a claw to her cheek and gently stroked the skin. In its eyes, Teyla saw unending sorrow that made the breath in her lungs hitch.

"Healer says it is sorry for your damage, Tey-laar," Primus said. "Eldus did not wish to harm you. Healer will help. Can you really help us get home?"

Teyla nodded. "We've helped one Primus and its kin return to Ignothia, hopefully, we can help all of you."

Teyla swayed as she became lightheaded, clutching at her stomach as she sighed in pain. The third beast got to its feet in time to catch her as she slowly slumped backward, her energy finally fading away. The huge animal pulled her into its arms, its giant head moving side to side as it looked her over with eyes that seemed so full of compassion that Teyla knew they spoke the truth of their being.

"Rest, Tey-laar," the second Primus growled. "We will look after you. Then, we save our people." It lifted her higher into its arms as the three giants made their way towards the tree line.

Teyla was unsure how the other Groten would react when they saw three of their own carrying a human. Would they tear her to pieces? Would the three Goh-driven bodies manage to stay inconspicuous enough to hide her away from prying eyes?

 _All will be well, Teyla,_ Eldus informed her quietly.  _We will take care of you._

Whatever might happen was out of Teyla's hands now, for her eyes slowly closed as her mind filled with thoughts of Ignothia. Eldus lulled her to sleep with the images and words of its homeworld. Teyla passed out with a smile on her lips, long before the three Groten slaves reached the ship.

_to be continued... (as soon as I find or rewrite the remaining chapters!)_


	26. Chapter 26

**_Hi all! I couldn't find the other chapters. They are totally gone, as are many chapters I wrote for the first draft of my fourth book. So, it sucks worse than I feared! But, I have been rewriting! I have lost my train of thought on the story as I had already written it, so what comes from now on is all new. Hey, it's Christmas, and this is your pressie for being such amazing readers and commenters :D I'll hopefully get the rest rewritten soon :) Happy holidays, everyone, and thank you all for your support!_ **

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Chapter 26

Rodney moaned and stirred in a haze of semi-consciousness. He suffered intolerable pain and let air an anguished cry as he attempted to sit up. He stilled, panting rapidly as he rode through the resulting agony until he dared to look at his wounds. His upper torso was just a mass of red wetness. Ragged pieces of blood-soaked uniform clung to torn skin and hid most of the wounds, but he could see the damage well enough to know he was in a bad way. Unfortunately, he had a far better view of the shattered bone which poked through the skin of his injured arm. His stomach heaving, Rodney squeezed his eyes closed as he began hyperventilating and he sobbed while telling himself none of it was real.

Noise in the area told him otherwise; it was just as real as he feared. He heard the cries of pain around him. People called out for help, some loudly cursing while lost in their misery. He was back in the barn. It had been emptied out and was now being used as a makeshift infirmary. A voice called his name frantically while drawing closer. Rodney recognized it and tried to sit up to greet the approaching man only to be gently pushed back onto the bed.

"Rodney! Oh thank God. Just lay still, I'm here now."

"Carson... what happened?" Rodney asked as the doctor looked him over.

"You were attacked by a groten, Rodney. It tore open your bio-suit like it was peeling an orange."

"I don't... why are you  _here_?" Rodney whispered weakly, clenching his teeth as Carson began to inspect his wounds.

"I was told you were injured so got here as quickly as I could."

"But... shouldn't you be piloting Jumper One?"

"The groten have retreated, the battle is over for now. Anyway, I'd far sooner be down here saving lives, than up there taking them. Majors Lorne and Stackhouse have things under control."

"Where's Teyla?"

Caron fell quiet, prompting Rodney to open his eyes and search his face for answers. "Is she... tell me she's not—"

Carson shook his head. "We don't know. No one has seen her since you were airlifted out, but Orna saw her take a hit."

Rodney made to sit up again, hissing with pain as Carson stopped him from rising.

"What kind of hit?!" he gasped.

"She's positive it was a Goh impact."

"Oh, God..." Rodney slumped back again, his mind reeling.

"Sama sent a search party out to find her, but there has been no word as yet."

Rodney shuddered and groaned as Carson started cleansing the wounds on his chest. "Damn, laddie! Pardon the pun, but what a bloody mess you've got yourself into."

"Not voluntarily, I assure you."

"I heard you did pretty well out there. Stackhouse said, 'McKay was taking the bastards down like they were kids dressed in Halloween costumes.' Quote, unquote."

It was an obvious Beckett ploy to take Rodney's mind from what he was doing. It didn't really work, but Rodney ground his teeth and played along.

"Stackhouse said that?"

"Aye, and he sounded pretty impressed. I think he wants a shot in one of the suits now."

"Yeah, well he hasn't seen me in this mess, has he? I doubt he will be too quick to ground himself in the battle if he did."

Carson sighed as he ended his initial examination. "Well, aside from multiple lacerations, it looks like you've got a dislocated shoulder and a rather nasty compound fracture in that arm. Until I can get you under a scanner, that's all I can say for sure. Still, you've been lucky, by all accounts."

"If I was lucky, I would still be out there and Teyla wouldn't be missing."

Carson didn't reply as he moved around Rodney, continuing to clean and inspect his wounds while tutting and sighing loudly. Rodney did his best to not become a bubbling wreck of misery by closing his eyes and thinking of the one thing that always calmed him− bright blue skies. Only, it didn't quite work this time. He still let out a yell as Carson prodded a particularly painful spot.

"I'm sorry, Rodney. I need to get the wounds clean and I just don't have anything here to knock you out with."

"When have you ever come on a mission without your med kit?!"

Carson sighed. "I  _did_  bring it, but it was torn from my back by one of those bloody animals as I ran for cover after being dropped off."

"Cover? How far into the village did they get?"

Carson's expression was grim. "All the way," he admitted. "I'm afraid you won't be the last person I help this day."

Rodney ground his teeth as Carson continued to cleanse his wounds. He wasn't as brave or quiet as he hoped to be, each touch catching his breath or making him cry out. He turned his head to the side, searching for something to take his mind from the pain. To his right a large man lay on the floor as two young women hurried around him, trying to stave the bleeding from his torn abdomen. The poor guy already looked to be dead, the women perhaps unable to admit it to themselves, just yet.

To his left lay what seemed to be a young girl. Her head was covered by a bloody bandage but what could be seen of her long hair had flowers woven into a braid. She stared at Rodney through a small hole in her bandages as a nurse moved her leg which was almost torn free from the knee. The girl's eyes held a world of pain that Rodney understood only too well.

"I've done as best as I can for now," Carson said. "I don't want to be resetting that limb or dislocation until I have you properly sedated."

Rodney turned from the girl and watched as Carson drew up an amber liquid from a vial.

"I thought you didn't have your med bag?"

"I don't, but I keep this on my person at all times. The nature of the drug means I have to keep a constant eye on it."

"What is it?"

"A powerful painkiller. I figure I can get maybe ten doses out of this vial. You're lucky number one."

Rodney shook his head. "No..."

"What?"

"Her first," Rodney whispered, turning to stare at the girl.

"Why, Rodney McKay," Carson chuckled. "I had no idea you were such a hero."

Rodney smiled just before he felt the needle pierce the flesh of his arm.

"I'll give her the next dose," Carson said in reply to his look of betrayal.

The drug acted swiftly. Rodney felt it working before Carson had even moved from his side to attend to the young girl. His pain ebbed away to become an intense throbbing he could better endure. He sighed with relief just as Carson returned a moment later, smiling knowingly.

"That's eased your pain a bit, eh?"

Rodney nodded, eyes slowly closing. "Any word on John?" he asked with little more than a whisper.

"We've not heard anything since they left for the Goh planet. Look, get some rest, I'll come by shortly to check up on you."

Rodney nodded again and smiled as his pain disappeared. It's little wonder Carson keeps that particular drug on his person, Rodney thought as he became blissfully unaware of his pain. It felt like his mind was nothing but a big ball of cotton wool. He felt like he was floating, the sensation the only thing he could focus on. It relaxed him enough to pull him closer to sleep, his mind shutting down as his body numbed.

Suddenly he was pulled back into reality as fresh shouts and screams rent the air. The sounds dragged him from his pleasant reverie as a new wave of wounded surged into the makeshift infirmary. Carson strode purposely into the crowd of injured as Rodney lay despising of the fact he was unable to help. He struggled to push through the mind-altering effects of the drug and wished to be on his feet again, wanting to get back out there to at least search for Teyla. He'd heard of wounded soldiers who got patched up then headed back out into war and Rodney wanted to do the same. But while his heart was in it, his body simply wasn't. He was much too weak and broken. While his pain was masked, for now, Rodney knew no matter how powerful a drug was that Carson might give him, its effects would eventually wear off and leave him in agony.

The light coming through the door was momentarily eclipsed when a giant entered the place. Orna, still strapped into her bio-suit, carefully made her way through the crowd of injured people. It still surprised Rodney that a thing of its size could move with such careful grace. The front of her suit was open and she was searching the room for something or someone. She looked worried and a little scared. Rodney had never seen that look on the face of a Caronaa warrior before. The one she sought was Carson and she moved swiftly to him as he pressed a dressing over a young woman's injured arm.

Rodney wiped at his eyes and shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the fuzziness in his mind. He focussed on the others, tried to hear their exchange of words but they were too quiet to make out. Then Carson stood abruptly, his eyes locked on Orna's, his mouth gaping momentarily. Rodney leaned himself up on the bed and followed the now loudly spoken conversation which was filled with worried tones.

" _Forgive me, Fer Beckett."_

" _Are you sure it was Teyla you saw?"_

" _Quite sure. I could not reach Fen Emmagan before the foul beasts took her body."_

Rodney's mind reeled at the words. They shocked him so much that he sat up without thinking, quite forgetful of his injuries until the howl tore from his mouth. Tears burned in his eyes as he thought of losing Teyla. He could see her in his mind, the small, lithe beauty, quick of mind and body, fighting the groten with grace and strength that never faltered. It was unthinkable that she had fallen to them, completely inconceivable that Teyla Emmagan had perished at the hands of such brutish beasts.

Rodney refused to believe it.

The fuzziness in his head cleared a little as a result of the burst of adrenaline the news gave him and Rodney forced himself to push up from the bed. Trembling, he pushed his legs over the side and onto the ground with little idea of what he intended to do. But, Rodney simply would not accept that his teammate was dead. He had to do something, anything, and wallowing in his own misery wasn't going to cut it.

He had to find her.

All ideas of gallantry were forced from his head when his damaged arm struck the edge of the bed. He grunted and pitched forward, his mind rapidly dulling as fresh pain ripped through his shattered limb that not even Carson's drug could mask. Then cold, strong, arms halted his fall and lifted him up and back onto the bed.

"Fer McKay, you look terrible," Orna said quietly, peering at him from her bio-suit.

Rodney grimaced, his eyes fluttering as he fought to stay awake. "So would you if you'd been ripped from your suit."

"Yes," Orna replied, lowering her gaze. "Others have not been quite as fortunate as you or I, as I'm sure you overheard," she finished pointedly.

"It can't be true," Rodney whispered. "Not Teyla."

"I'm sorry, Fer Mckay. But, I saw it with my own eyes."

"Tell me what you saw," he demanded.

"I saw Fen Emmagan carried towards the danu ship, limp in its filthy arms."

"But you can't be sure she was dead."

"It was a danu, what else would she be?"

"Alive?!" he spat, "you can't be sure! Why would they take her body? They never bothered before!"

"Perhaps, but she is lost regardless."

Rodney twisted and grabbed hold of Orna's mechanical arm. "You need to get me another bio-suit," he whispered desperately.

Orna pulled away from him. "You are in no state to be out of bed never mind inside a suit. You couldn't work one in your condition!"

"Damnit, Orna! The suit is operated by the thoughts in our heads, not the strength in our bodies! I can work the suit, just get me one!"

"But why?!"

"Because I will  _not_  lie here while my team is decimated and their deaths are reported back to me in piecemeal!" he shouted angrily.

Orna pulled away and shook her head resolutely. "You are not well enough. Fer Beckett will not allow it."

"He doesn't need to  _know!_ " Rodney despaired then attempted to use her Caronaa warrior pride to get what he wanted. "Please, Orna, from... from one warrior to another… help me find her. Help me bring her body home."

Orna seemed to war with herself, the internal fight playing over her features until she locked eyes with Rodney. "I cannot bring you a bio-suit," she said finally. Rodney was about to protest when she leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "but I can take you to one."

_To be continued..._


End file.
